The Chocolate Lady

Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Morning Read

As you know, Im a news junkie. I waste my time reading the papers and watching the news on TV, even though it's probably not good for me to learn about all the vile, hateful things going on in the world. Most days, the news is filled with crime, war, and abuse, and for somer reason, my fascination with human behavior keeps me reading.

Today, however, I stumbled upon a few stories that were a little off beat. One is so ridiculous, that I decided to share it with you, and the other sounds rather tempting (maybe Ill do it!) ....see if you can guess which one is which!

Our first story, is about a scientific study by NASA, and they are looking for regular folks to help out. You get paid $17,000 to STAY IN BED FOR 3 MONTHS. I know, The headline alone had me ready to pack my bags and fly to the space station in Texas, and then I read this, and I quote, "They can shower, surf the Internet and watch DVDs, all while remaining in bed." Um, hello.....how quick can I get a plane ticket? I mean, I realize it would be a sacrifice, and Im so obsessed with my daily workout routine at the gym, that it would be tough to give that up...but for science and the wellbeing of mankind, space exploration, etc. I think I could do it.....I mean, you know, I could FORCE myself to stay in bed, surfing the web, blogging, watching TV, sleeping, reading, and sacrificing my body for space....for $17,000, because, Im a good citizen like that. I think a few of you might enjoy this kind of "job" for a while..so, if you are interested, you can read more about it here

The other story, well, it really epitomizes how fake, superficial and sexual our society has become. It's about the popular trend of getting, ...wait for it.... "designer vaginas". Yeah, I know. and, no, it's not like it's going to have a Gucci label, and, apparently, it's not just for porn stars and other such folks that have cameras pointing at their VA- Jay-Jays (sorry JJ the dog!)...it's becoming common amongst "regular folks" and, as things go, apparently, there have been some "complications" as in, surgeries not going so well.....so now, the medical association is discouraging these surgeries.

Now, I realize Im biased, because I think even botox is extreme (yes, call me crazy, but injecting damaging, cell killing bacteria into one's face seems like, not the brightest idea to me.) And, all the boob jobs and such, I think people are better left with what God gave them...but, that's me, and I realize Im in the minority. But, come on, "designer vaginas" ????? People pay (on average) $10,000 for THAT?????? For those of you that want to learn more (and Im sure it's just for the intrigue, not that you actually want one....) you can read about it here.

So, now I think Ill go apply for that important space job, and hey, with the $17,000 I earn, maybe I can get a new Louis Vutton!

***AND, in case anyone thought I was crazy for (begging) wanting a sponsored trip to BEACHES (the resort with Sesame Street characters), in exchange for blogging about our adventure..... Bossy is currently on a sponsored vacation....yeah, she is! ****

7 comments:

Jason said...

Designer vaginas? Now I've heard everything.

jlo said...

Sign me up!!! Not for the designer vagina, but for the 3 months in bed!!

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. Something to consider, I guess. After getting a designer vajayjay you might need three months in bed. In a psych ward. Or to take it out for a test drive. Maybe you could recoop from surgery and stay in bed for NASA, and then the surgery will pay for itself.

Mom on the Run said...

Sign me up for the sleep job. I have exactly the qualifications needed. I sleep/lounge/surf very well.

The Running Girl said...

Well, you certainly know how to find interesting articles. Wow. Who would have thought.

Pumpkin Delight said...

I too would like the sleep job.

Pumpkin Delight said...

Next time I'm downtown I'll have to see if I can find a "knock-off" vajayjay.