The Morning Read

As you know, Im a news junkie. I waste my time reading the papers and watching the news on TV, even though it's probably not good for me to learn about all the vile, hateful things going on in the world. Most days, the news is filled with crime, war, and abuse, and for somer reason, my fascination with human behavior keeps me reading.

Today, however, I stumbled upon a few stories that were a little off beat. One is so ridiculous, that I decided to share it with you, and the other sounds rather tempting (maybe Ill do it!) ....see if you can guess which one is which!

Our first story, is about a scientific study by NASA, and they are looking for regular folks to help out. You get paid $17,000 to STAY IN BED FOR 3 MONTHS. I know, The headline alone had me ready to pack my bags and fly to the space station in Texas, and then I read this, and I quote, "They can shower, surf the Internet and watch DVDs, all while remaining in bed." Um, hello.....how quick can I get a plane ticket? I mean, I realize it would be a sacrifice, and Im so obsessed with my daily workout routine at the gym, that it would be tough to give that up...but for science and the wellbeing of mankind, space exploration, etc. I think I could do it.....I mean, you know, I could FORCE myself to stay in bed, surfing the web, blogging, watching TV, sleeping, reading, and sacrificing my body for space....for $17,000, because, Im a good citizen like that. I think a few of you might enjoy this kind of "job" for a while..so, if you are interested, you can read more about it here

The other story, well, it really epitomizes how fake, superficial and sexual our society has become. It's about the popular trend of getting, ...wait for it.... "designer vaginas". Yeah, I know. and, no, it's not like it's going to have a Gucci label, and, apparently, it's not just for porn stars and other such folks that have cameras pointing at their VA- Jay-Jays (sorry JJ the dog!)...it's becoming common amongst "regular folks" and, as things go, apparently, there have been some "complications" as in, surgeries not going so well.....so now, the medical association is discouraging these surgeries.

Now, I realize Im biased, because I think even botox is extreme (yes, call me crazy, but injecting damaging, cell killing bacteria into one's face seems like, not the brightest idea to me.) And, all the boob jobs and such, I think people are better left with what God gave them...but, that's me, and I realize Im in the minority. But, come on, "designer vaginas" ????? People pay (on average) $10,000 for THAT?????? For those of you that want to learn more (and Im sure it's just for the intrigue, not that you actually want one....) you can read about it here.

So, now I think Ill go apply for that important space job, and hey, with the $17,000 I earn, maybe I can get a new Louis Vutton!

***AND, in case anyone thought I was crazy for (begging) wanting a sponsored trip to BEACHES (the resort with Sesame Street characters), in exchange for blogging about our adventure..... Bossy is currently on a sponsored vacation....yeah, she is! ****

all I want is a stinkin vacation or, why Im not at BLOG HER 08

Here's the deal.

There's a major "blog conference" going on (my non-blogging friends are like, "heh??") But yeah, bloggers gather, sit around with their laptops (which, maybe were provided by their sponsors) and talk about blogging. I know, the excitement from just *thinking* about it has you squeeling!

Im not there, Im blogging from my "office", on the computer that frequently freezes up and says, "your computer is low on memory." And, I made the stupid mistake of dropping a bit of delicious "skin" from my extra-crispy piece of Kentucky Fried Chicken, and now their is an ANT CONFERENCE on my desk.

but, whatever.

Earlier, the Queen of blogging posted about the Blog Her conference, and she showed a picture, and mentioned the parties and "break out groups" and stuff....and, I got a teensy, tiny, tadly bit envious when she mentioned that the topic of one such group was, "how to make money from your blog."

Now, if you dont blog, you're eyes are rolling back in your head by now, and this is, understandably, of no interest to you.

But, if you are a blogger...probably you arent even at Blog Her 08, because if you were, you would be listening to some wildly popular blogger share their insights, rather than reading my little post.

Unless of course, maybe someone is having a "break out" group about me...yeah, a whole group reading my blog and talking about how clever and fancy I am, and how they should all aspire to be a blogger like me. Or, maybe using me as an example of what not to do, unless you want the same 4 readers...and that's it. Ok, they probably arent talking about me. They dont even KNOW me, although I did meet Bossy, and she's there, so 6 degrees of separation and all that......

Back to that break out group about making money from your blog. Um, Im gonna take a wild guess and say that the folks who would most benefit from that info....the folks that might most want to hear that....and glean some fabulous ideas, are NOT THE FOLKS IN ATTENDANCE.

Take, for example, that that gal whose husband quit his job, and the family's sole income source is her blog....PROBABLY, wild guess here, she has no need for that group.

Me on the other hand, well, ever since I met Bossy on her Excellent Adventure tour of the country...the one sponsored by a major auto manufacturer named SATURN, Um, I thought, hey, Id like to make enough money to go to Beaches with the kids.

Not to play the pity card or anything, especially since none of you own Beaches...or, I totally would purposely use the pity card...but we had planned to go to Beaches with Pooper and Beauty, but then he got cancer, and, let me just say, a 2.5 year old with cancer kinda ruins the family vacation plans.

But now, that he is doing well, and we have Little One, who is all up in a fatizzle about Elmo...we would like to go to Beaches...where the kids can frolick with the Sesame Street characters while I relax...IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK???

Anyhoo....bossy planted that "sponsorship" seed, and I thought, HEY, if I had a few more readers, maybe Sesame Street or Beaches could sponsor me, and I could blog about our family vacation. I mean, my kids are chalk full of blog fodder, trust me, it would be no different just because Big Bird was there.

So, point being, I would LOVE to know how to make some money, and earn our family a vacation, but Im not there, cause it takes money to get there (hello vicious circle of life!)

but if anyone is there, or is listening to some bootleg pod cast or whatever....and they happend to mention, "how to get Beaches to sponsor your family vacation by blogging about it" at that Blog Her conference....please let me know.

And, just to make sure to take Grandma J's advice, (because Im nothing if not the world's most obedient daughter)..Im gonna throw in some "high traffic" tags, to increase my readership, and get one step closer to a sponsored vacation...here goes....

bossy, pioneer woman, dooce, hannah montana, camp rock, global warming, obama, the price of gas