That is sooo mean!!

I dont like it when people are cruel to each other. Being nice is so much better than being mean....and so, I shudder at the thought of being considered mean, you know....I want people to know that I am really a nice person.

That being said, there is something so funny, so hilarious, that it sort of makes the "meanness" not count. When you are laughing so hard that you cant stop, and end up having a full fledged asthma attack because you cant breathe through all the hysterics, you sort of forget that the subject of your humor might have feelings.

Recently, my friend Laura, passed along a website that had me laughing like I hadnt laughed in years....and, I want to share it with you, but then I fear you will think I am mean and heartless....

what's a girl to do????

Ok, Ill give you the links, but only for research purposes.....I want to know if you think they are mean....

Please come back and post your thoughts; and on a scale of 1 -10, were they mean? 1 = no meanness AT ALL, pure fun! and 10 = you are so cruel and heartless!!

Warning, the second one is a little more raunchy.....

funny

funny bit more raunchy

breaking news!

Yes, Jason, Im blogging again :)

I have been very busy removing hot pink nail polish from my daughters' pale pink walls, (God help me, only one more week until school starts!) but when I heard the news, I knew that informing my reader took priority.

Make sure you are sitting down, preferably with your legs crossed..... the big news is..... The Duggars are expecting child #19. Seriously.

Now, while some of you are catching your breath, I can also hear someone saying, "big deal....that is as predictable as the sun rising each day, The Duggars having another child....that's not breaking news at all."

How do you feel? How do I feel? I think the combination of "wow that is unbelievable" and "just what I expected" is an interesting convergence of emotions...and I think that is what I am feeling now....no judgement, no, "it's a vagina not a clown car" remarks from me, no sirrreeee....just amazement, and acceptance.

Each child is a gift from God, a blessing.....that's my thought and Im sticking to it.

What's yours?

the fair and the bearded lady

A couple of weeks ago, My Honey and I had the chance to go to the fair. "had the chance" is sort of an interesting way of putting it....

I grew up going to this fair, every year, it would kill me to miss it, that was before....well, before my extroversion began to wane....now, the thought of going to the fair, being bumped into by people with no sense of personal space, waiting in lines, listening to screaming....well, it's something I could pass on.

Our church youth group was having a "child care drop off" night, and we jumped at the chance to go out without it costing us $100 (seriously, if you havent used a babysitter lately, suddenly 14 year olds are demanding 3x the minimum wage...I know, I should have majored in babysitting....) but anyways, we couldnt pass up the opportunity to get out on our own, first time in a few dozen months...

I figured we would go out to a favorite restaurant, or see a movie...perhaps check out the new "Dueling pianos" bar...but My Honey wanted to go to the fair, and I knew that going without kids was the ONLY way I would even think of going....

After walking a mile or two, we entered into the legendary world of the fair.

Taking in the neon lights and flashing bells, we were drawn like magnets to the food aisle. We were like kids in a candy store, literally, and we declared that we would have a guilt free night of fair-food tasting.

Chocolate covered bacon, grilled corn on the cob, shaved ice, ...and My Honey's favorite, the deep fried Twinkie....all entertained our sense of taste....once full, we kept walking, knowing that the exercise would help reduce the guilt.

Typical carny coersion was in full force, as the game operators tried to lure you to their booth...we played some, knowing they were rigged, knowing that even if we "won" it would take a dozen "wins" to get the actual large prize that was displayed...we'd have to collect $100 worth of trinkets to trade in for anything worth carrying.....but knowing that we played, and lost.

My Honey almost won the basketball toss, "you were soooo close!" I told him, encouraging him to pay for another shot....it's the fair, might as well make the most of it, right?

Eventually, we found ourselves in the exposition hall, where booths filled with "as seen on TV" items were being peddled. Billy Mays (may he rest in peace) and The Sham-Wow guy have a lot of up and coming imitators. Slick salesman held up their wares, trying to entice us with practically miraculous claims.

One booth caught my eye, as they demonstrated the "Smooth Away Hair Removal System".

Back in the day, I had 2-3, long, course, fast growing, but thankfully, BLONDE hairs that grew just under my chin, about an inch to the left. Not a huge deal, easy to feel when they were getting long, easy to pluck.

However, in the past decade, that patch has gotten a few new hairs, and more recently, it's become quite a little garden of annoyance.

Perhaps this "Smooth Away" thing might be just what I needed.

Now, they claim it has "fine crystals" on this little pad, and you simply buff the hairy area. The gal showed me how it worked, and then told me to try it myself. I was apparently a bit too eager, because she noticed that I had scuffed off some of the skin. "dont press so hard next time, and it will not be as irritating."

Honestly, I didnt notice MUCH irritation, I was more enamored with the smooth chin it gave me. So, I bought one, and then proceeded through the fair grounds, feeling oh so fabulous with my smooth chin.

The late night came to an end, and we eventually wound up at home after picking up the kiddos.

The next day, I kept rubbing my chin, as an abrasion was brewing, from where I rubbed off my skin. But, at least it wasnt bearded anymore!

By the end of the day, seriously, I could feel the stubble coming back! THAT was a short lived dream. Now I was gonna have stubble, AND a big scab from my skin being scraped off! And, as if that wasnt bad enough, as soon as my chin began to heal, a new problem erupted, in the form of.....ingrown hairs! That's the thing I hate about hair removal, including eyebrow waxing, is before you know it, I have big pimples from ingrown hairs...which become quite big and ugly, not to mention painful.

Now, the big dilemna, do I even bother buffing off the now well grown return of my hairy, chin-patch? or just let it be?

Is it better to have a beard? ingrown hairs? abrasions?

Maybe next year I can return, and get my own booth as the bearded lady!

When your horoscope recommends staying in bed

I dont read my horoscope, but if I did, Im pretty sure today's would have advised me to stay in bed, avoid all commitments and contact....yep, Im pretty.sure!

Let me just preface this, with telling you that we are on day #2 of Little One's venture into "big girl panties". Yesterday was a huge success. Today, not so much.

We started out with Princess Jasmine panties.

Me: Princess Jasmine is HAPPY

LO: Yeah, she is happy.

Me: Make sure you put your potty in the toilet, so she can be happy.

LO: yeah, Im not gonna put potty on Princess Jasmine, that makes her SOOOO SAD!

Me: You will put your potty in the toilet, and she will be HAPPY.

I was so glad we were in agreement. I was just as happy as Princess Jasmine, that is, until, I went to load Little One into the car, and realized Princess Jasmine was either SO SAD that she was sobbing urine tears, or Little One had pee'd her panties.

Unfortunately, I was putting her into the car, because I was in a rush to drop off some yummy, decorative chocolates to church. An older woman lost her long battle with cancer, and I had agreed to bring some treats for the memorial reception.

I didnt want to be late, so I just buckled up my SAD PRINCESSES, along with Beauty and Pooper, and we were off.....

Now, the church, where the memorial was taking place.....is also the main campus of the school where my children attend. School is out for summer, but the staff were there. Anyhoo.....I pulled up, right up to the entry way (parking illegally, because I was just going to run my chocolates up to the reception....and the parking lot was pretty full due to the memorial service.)

I brought my pretty candies, and on my way back to the car, I got a FANTASTIC phone call. The President of Dove Chocolate Discoveries, was calling me, I was so excited!

So excited, that as I was entering my car (with children and a wet pair of Princess panties inside)...my car that was as close to the memorial service as possible (practically at the front doors) and my car that is right in front of the School Superintendent's office window....that car...as I was entering it, I accidentally set off the alarm. No kidding!

Ive got our President on the phone, as Im trying to keep my cool on the conversation, and fumbling to find my keys, and then to get my key in the door to turn off the alarm....fully aware that people are mourning just a few yards away....with my blaring horn going off! I almost drop the phone, the kids are screaming......

Luckily, Dove's President has a sense of humor, and was laughing with me, as I made a quick get away out of the parking lot, thankfully before people started coming out to see what MORON had their car alarm blaring in the midst of a memorial service. Nobody saw me, whew! Nobody but the school superintendant, who' was probably watching the whole thing out her office window!!

YIKES!!

Soon the day mellowed, and I took the kids home, and washed up Little One, putting her in some Ariel panties.

Me: Ok Little One, Ariel is very happy now, but we need to put our potty in the toilet so she can stay HAPPY.

LO: Ariel is HAPPY, but Princess Jasmine is SOOO SAD!!

Me; Yes, Princess Jasmine was sad you pee'd on her, but I will wash her, and make her HAPPY.

LO: She will be HAPPY and Ariel is HAPPY!!

Me: yes, so make sure you put your potty in the toilet so she can stay HAPPY!

to be continued............

so you think you can dance

Im not sure why I titled this, "So you think you can dance"...because, I dont even watch that show. But, I do think I can dance, and pretty good. I also think I am pretty good at baking and making fun desserts...that is, until I tried Bakerella's cake pops. She made it all look so easy, and her cake pops looked like...well, like they belonged on the Real Housewives of the OC. Mine, on the other hand, looked like they belonged....um....(hmmm...what can I say that wont offend SOMEONE??) Well, mine looked like they had missed one too many botox appointments, if you know what I mean.

You can see just what I did, how I made them, on my Chocolate website I will show you a photo, step by step. I already have the pictures uploaded, Woo Hoo...just need to get them put on my site, will do that tomorrow. But in the meantime, here is how I spend my time.

American Idol Recap

Ive been really looking forward to American Idol tonight, and while Im not sure he's my complete "favorite", I will say that Adam is the contestant I am really looking forward to hearing.

I think he is genius. Ring of Fire was AMAZING....sorry if the judges were too lame to realize it.

Now for tonight, I thought you all would really want to know; "What does HSH think?" LOL, not really, but Im tellin' ya anyways;

Anooop: Im not necessary all, "ANOOOOP DOG" or anything, but he had nice vocals tonight. Perhaps he could have taken more risks, etc. but it was still nice, and I was afraid he was gonna cry when the judges made their harsh comments.

Meghan: Ill be honest, my conservative self cant stop fixating on the tattoo. Every week I say to myself, "Such a pretty girl, why did she do that to herself?" And then I wonder if it's possible to get it completely removed, or will she always be scarred with it. Sad. She is cute, and her voice might do well with some songs, but she sounded super pitchy tonight, and boring. Note to Meghan, the audience WASNT feeling it! I can see her having quite a following at a coffee house, but Im not gonna buy one of her albums.

** Side note **
Im getting confused, do they want them to pick a song that represents their style? If so, are they then going to tell them the songs are too "Safe"????

Danny: his voice sounded strained, but I totally felt the emotion, heck, wanted to cry for him. Amazing song, amazing singer!

Alison: She rocks. More importantly, the commentary....do these people not realize that criticizing the "looks" of a teen girl, in front of tons of people, is totally not cool??? What teen girl (or any girl, or anyone??) wants to be criticized? Her outfit was just fine...., and RANDY, hello? Have you ever seen the old Journey videos? The ones where FAT RANDY is wearing red, spandez pants and an afro-hawk? She rocked. 'Nuf said!

Scott: Just so you know, Im not a huge fan. Im sure his mom is bursting with pride, and I give him major props, he is an accomplished and brave young man, but Im not buying an album. e.v.e.r. That said, When he said, "Im gonna strip it down with just me and the piano." my eyes rolled back into my head. Im just not into 70's piano ballads. Not tonight. Give me Daughtry, Give me Creed, Give me Pink, not a ballad. But his haircut did look nice, too poofy, but nice. As for the judges, why did Paula have to bring up his "challenges"?? She only accentuates the pity-card when she does that.

** Side Note***
Was Paula drugged tonight? I mean, more than usual? She was a bit slurry and drippy.

Matt: Sometimes pitchy, but I liked it a lot. I love that song and he had great emotion. As for the judges...Are they kidding? Criticize that his voice wasnt at it's best, but that song was great, and perfect for him!

** Side Note **
Im liking people based on the songs, more than their voice...so people, no more ballads!

Lil: I like Lil. She is sweet. Im not a huge Celine fan. I mean, it's part of that "ballad" crowd that just makes me tip over out of boredom. But, Lil did a great job. She has an incredible voice. The hairdo looks nice on her,, but Im not a big fan of wigs, so that was distracting...but overall, nice performance. Paula gave the best critique....we dont want more "adult contemporary" music. (period. from anyone.)

**Side Note** My husband, who doesnt usually make fun of people, made jokes about her name throughout the performance. Shame!

**Another Side Note **
love how they are saving Adam til the end EVERY WEEK...they know he is what keeps many of us tuned in!

Adam: Ive been waiting to hear Adam, since he sang his final note last week. He is so filled with talent...Ok, he should have saved this for 70's night. I would have liked to hear him sing something more current...but he was amazing. His voice is phenomenal!

Kris: I think Kris is adorable. The past weeks, Ive liked him, but dont feel he has the power that some of the others bring. Tonight, he seemed much stronger and I got to hear his clear voice with plenty of emotion. Not a huge fan of the mustache, but unlike a multicolored tattoo covering an entire limb, it's removable.

My favs are probably Adam, Allison, Danny, Matt and Kris. These are the folks that have the best shot of selling me an album.

How about you? Who'd ya love? Who made you hit the zzzz's or plug your ears?

All the fun

For today, all the fun is happening at my other blog....great things you wont want to miss!



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