The Chocolate Lady

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Career Day

Recently, at an elementary school, they had "career day".....where the children were asked to draw a picture of their parent at work.

One little girl turned in this.....

Yeah, I know! What is this world coming to???

Later in the week, the children were able to take their graded drawings home (in case their parents were hoarders that wanted to keep every last stitch of paper their kid had ever written/drawn/created.)

The following day, the little girl brought this note to her teacher:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel.



Now, some of you might be saying, "HEY! I already read that story on
Grandma J's website!! "

And to that I would say....yeah, you did. One of the perks of being family, is borrowing things. Like, if Grandma J had some really cute shoes, or a big pair of 3 carat diamond earrings, it would be totally cool if I borrowed them, even without asking, because we are family, and that's how we roll.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The best invention, EVAH

Not only is this the best invention, but for some reason, it's one of the funniest.

Ok, Ill admit, my humor may not always be appropriate. Heck, I took my kids to see the potty humor movie, "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" tonight. And, I married a man who has an infatuation with, "Family Guy", yeah, sometimes I laugh at things that might not be thought of as funny, in the classic sense.

Tonight, as we were walking out of the movies, we met a sweet lady....

we ended up chatting, she is 87, and in her day, was a probation officer in the toughest parts of Los Angeles.....and then, it happened, I noticed her many necklaces. And it caught my eye, like a bright shining jewel, my eyes were drawn to it.

I had to ask...."Is that a LIFE ALERT" necklace???

You know, Life Alert....the, "Help Ive Fallen And I Cant Get Up" necklace, that will save the life of someone who needs help, but cant reach their cell....or get to the old fashioned rotary phone.

I mean, with the exception of the Hover Round (google it, and yes, I did use it in the grocery store when I was pregnant) this has to be one of the best inventions ever....saving lives, and making me chuckle, all at the same time!

Do you know anyone that has one? Do you have any life saving stories re: this beautiful device? Do you plan on wearing one, and if so when?

Friday, March 19, 2010

Morning meltdowns....(sigh)

I thought that having school uniforms would make the morning routine a breeze. And, it probably would, if I was up to date on the laundry Situation (If some orange guy from NJ can be The Situation, certainly my laundry is!)

Usually, Pooper is the source of morning drama, because he isnt a morning person, and moves slowly....(wonder where he inherited THAT gene!) But Poop was away at Cowboy Camp.

Typically, when Pooper isnt making mornings drag, Little One will take over. Whether it's her insistence on bringing her pop-up Dora tent with her in the van, or her refusal to put on shoes, she's a good back up for keeping the morning chaotic. But, not today.

Today, Beauty decided to try her hand at making us late to school.

She wanted to wear a skirt, and I was forcing her to wear the jumper. You see, I hadnt caught up on the laundry, and the only school polo that was clean, was also stained. A jumper would hide the stain, she skirt would not. So....she needed to wear the jumper. However, naturally, she wanted to wear the skirt. You follow me? It doesnt matter that both are made of the same tartan plaid, it apparently was a life or death trauma, one that included writhing on the floor and crying, even screaming...

I ended up just putting her in the car, tears a-streamin', and hoped she would pull things together on the 2 minute drive.

In the end, she made it to class, albeit late, and with a red face....but with the stain on her shirt hidden by her school uniform jumper.

I guess a good mommy would have had all the shirts cleaned. Just count this as one more chapter in the all-things-my-mommy-did-to-send-me-to-therapy diary that my children will one day write.

PS. if you havent entered chocolate giveaway ends tomorrow....enter at my chocolate blog

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Why I send my kids to school

My kids go to school. Private school. Nothing fancy, but, the fact is, it costs me money, and there are times I wonder if I should homeschool instead....and enjoy more financial freedom.

But it's days like today, that I am reminded, why I send them to school.


I signed up to volunteer for, "Meet the Masters", and today was my lucky day. Meet the Masters is an art program, where the children get a lecture about a certain artist, and then they go back to class to create something in that artists style, or using their particular technique. So, basically, I just help out while they are doing their craft. Not hard.

Not hard, unless chaos and unstructured activities grate against your nerves.

Today, the 1st grade class learned about Degas. And their lesson culminated with a chalk art project....

Now, chalk is messy, but imagine, that instead of drawing with the chalk, the kids were instructed to color really hard with the hard, that they made a pile of chalk dust. THEN, they take a tissue, wrap it around their index finger (and trust me, not every first grade boy has the fine motor skills to master this task), and scoop up the chalk dust....and rub it on their picture.

I know, that probably sounds just lovely to most of you. But I promise, between the coloring hard with chalk, the wrapping the tissue around the finger, and the scooping of the chalk to rub on their paper....well, lots of chalk dust gets tossed around.

AND, add to the mix, that my half of the class had most of the boys, including a few with "attention" and "staying-on-task" issues. If you know what I mean.

Before you know it, there was chalk ALL OVER THE DESKS, ALL OVER THEIR CLOTHES, and as the teacher later pointed out to me, *I* even had chalk on my face (and I didnt use the chalk!)

This....This is why I send my kids to school. So that they can do messy art projects somewhere else. So someone else can smile patiently as antsy boys are touching and playing with chalk all over their hands. So someone elses furniture can have colored dust particles smeared on it.

As for me and my house, we'll just stick with reading.