The Chocolate Lady

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

breaking news!

Yes, Jason, Im blogging again :)

I have been very busy removing hot pink nail polish from my daughters' pale pink walls, (God help me, only one more week until school starts!) but when I heard the news, I knew that informing my reader took priority.

Make sure you are sitting down, preferably with your legs crossed..... the big news is..... The Duggars are expecting child #19. Seriously.

Now, while some of you are catching your breath, I can also hear someone saying, "big deal....that is as predictable as the sun rising each day, The Duggars having another child....that's not breaking news at all."

How do you feel? How do I feel? I think the combination of "wow that is unbelievable" and "just what I expected" is an interesting convergence of emotions...and I think that is what I am feeling judgement, no, "it's a vagina not a clown car" remarks from me, no sirrreeee....just amazement, and acceptance.

Each child is a gift from God, a blessing.....that's my thought and Im sticking to it.

What's yours?

Friday, August 14, 2009

the fair and the bearded lady

A couple of weeks ago, My Honey and I had the chance to go to the fair. "had the chance" is sort of an interesting way of putting it....

I grew up going to this fair, every year, it would kill me to miss it, that was before....well, before my extroversion began to, the thought of going to the fair, being bumped into by people with no sense of personal space, waiting in lines, listening to screaming....well, it's something I could pass on.

Our church youth group was having a "child care drop off" night, and we jumped at the chance to go out without it costing us $100 (seriously, if you havent used a babysitter lately, suddenly 14 year olds are demanding 3x the minimum wage...I know, I should have majored in babysitting....) but anyways, we couldnt pass up the opportunity to get out on our own, first time in a few dozen months...

I figured we would go out to a favorite restaurant, or see a movie...perhaps check out the new "Dueling pianos" bar...but My Honey wanted to go to the fair, and I knew that going without kids was the ONLY way I would even think of going....

After walking a mile or two, we entered into the legendary world of the fair.

Taking in the neon lights and flashing bells, we were drawn like magnets to the food aisle. We were like kids in a candy store, literally, and we declared that we would have a guilt free night of fair-food tasting.

Chocolate covered bacon, grilled corn on the cob, shaved ice, ...and My Honey's favorite, the deep fried Twinkie....all entertained our sense of taste....once full, we kept walking, knowing that the exercise would help reduce the guilt.

Typical carny coersion was in full force, as the game operators tried to lure you to their booth...we played some, knowing they were rigged, knowing that even if we "won" it would take a dozen "wins" to get the actual large prize that was displayed...we'd have to collect $100 worth of trinkets to trade in for anything worth carrying.....but knowing that we played, and lost.

My Honey almost won the basketball toss, "you were soooo close!" I told him, encouraging him to pay for another's the fair, might as well make the most of it, right?

Eventually, we found ourselves in the exposition hall, where booths filled with "as seen on TV" items were being peddled. Billy Mays (may he rest in peace) and The Sham-Wow guy have a lot of up and coming imitators. Slick salesman held up their wares, trying to entice us with practically miraculous claims.

One booth caught my eye, as they demonstrated the "Smooth Away Hair Removal System".

Back in the day, I had 2-3, long, course, fast growing, but thankfully, BLONDE hairs that grew just under my chin, about an inch to the left. Not a huge deal, easy to feel when they were getting long, easy to pluck.

However, in the past decade, that patch has gotten a few new hairs, and more recently, it's become quite a little garden of annoyance.

Perhaps this "Smooth Away" thing might be just what I needed.

Now, they claim it has "fine crystals" on this little pad, and you simply buff the hairy area. The gal showed me how it worked, and then told me to try it myself. I was apparently a bit too eager, because she noticed that I had scuffed off some of the skin. "dont press so hard next time, and it will not be as irritating."

Honestly, I didnt notice MUCH irritation, I was more enamored with the smooth chin it gave me. So, I bought one, and then proceeded through the fair grounds, feeling oh so fabulous with my smooth chin.

The late night came to an end, and we eventually wound up at home after picking up the kiddos.

The next day, I kept rubbing my chin, as an abrasion was brewing, from where I rubbed off my skin. But, at least it wasnt bearded anymore!

By the end of the day, seriously, I could feel the stubble coming back! THAT was a short lived dream. Now I was gonna have stubble, AND a big scab from my skin being scraped off! And, as if that wasnt bad enough, as soon as my chin began to heal, a new problem erupted, in the form of.....ingrown hairs! That's the thing I hate about hair removal, including eyebrow waxing, is before you know it, I have big pimples from ingrown hairs...which become quite big and ugly, not to mention painful.

Now, the big dilemna, do I even bother buffing off the now well grown return of my hairy, chin-patch? or just let it be?

Is it better to have a beard? ingrown hairs? abrasions?

Maybe next year I can return, and get my own booth as the bearded lady!

Monday, June 15, 2009

When your horoscope recommends staying in bed

I dont read my horoscope, but if I did, Im pretty sure today's would have advised me to stay in bed, avoid all commitments and contact....yep, Im pretty.sure!

Let me just preface this, with telling you that we are on day #2 of Little One's venture into "big girl panties". Yesterday was a huge success. Today, not so much.

We started out with Princess Jasmine panties.

Me: Princess Jasmine is HAPPY

LO: Yeah, she is happy.

Me: Make sure you put your potty in the toilet, so she can be happy.

LO: yeah, Im not gonna put potty on Princess Jasmine, that makes her SOOOO SAD!

Me: You will put your potty in the toilet, and she will be HAPPY.

I was so glad we were in agreement. I was just as happy as Princess Jasmine, that is, until, I went to load Little One into the car, and realized Princess Jasmine was either SO SAD that she was sobbing urine tears, or Little One had pee'd her panties.

Unfortunately, I was putting her into the car, because I was in a rush to drop off some yummy, decorative chocolates to church. An older woman lost her long battle with cancer, and I had agreed to bring some treats for the memorial reception.

I didnt want to be late, so I just buckled up my SAD PRINCESSES, along with Beauty and Pooper, and we were off.....

Now, the church, where the memorial was taking also the main campus of the school where my children attend. School is out for summer, but the staff were there. Anyhoo.....I pulled up, right up to the entry way (parking illegally, because I was just going to run my chocolates up to the reception....and the parking lot was pretty full due to the memorial service.)

I brought my pretty candies, and on my way back to the car, I got a FANTASTIC phone call. The President of Dove Chocolate Discoveries, was calling me, I was so excited!

So excited, that as I was entering my car (with children and a wet pair of Princess panties inside) car that was as close to the memorial service as possible (practically at the front doors) and my car that is right in front of the School Superintendent's office window....that I was entering it, I accidentally set off the alarm. No kidding!

Ive got our President on the phone, as Im trying to keep my cool on the conversation, and fumbling to find my keys, and then to get my key in the door to turn off the alarm....fully aware that people are mourning just a few yards away....with my blaring horn going off! I almost drop the phone, the kids are screaming......

Luckily, Dove's President has a sense of humor, and was laughing with me, as I made a quick get away out of the parking lot, thankfully before people started coming out to see what MORON had their car alarm blaring in the midst of a memorial service. Nobody saw me, whew! Nobody but the school superintendant, who' was probably watching the whole thing out her office window!!


Soon the day mellowed, and I took the kids home, and washed up Little One, putting her in some Ariel panties.

Me: Ok Little One, Ariel is very happy now, but we need to put our potty in the toilet so she can stay HAPPY.

LO: Ariel is HAPPY, but Princess Jasmine is SOOO SAD!!

Me; Yes, Princess Jasmine was sad you pee'd on her, but I will wash her, and make her HAPPY.

LO: She will be HAPPY and Ariel is HAPPY!!

Me: yes, so make sure you put your potty in the toilet so she can stay HAPPY!

to be continued............

Monday, April 6, 2009

so you think you can dance

Im not sure why I titled this, "So you think you can dance"...because, I dont even watch that show. But, I do think I can dance, and pretty good. I also think I am pretty good at baking and making fun desserts...that is, until I tried Bakerella's cake pops. She made it all look so easy, and her cake pops looked like...well, like they belonged on the Real Housewives of the OC. Mine, on the other hand, looked like they can I say that wont offend SOMEONE??) Well, mine looked like they had missed one too many botox appointments, if you know what I mean.

You can see just what I did, how I made them, on my Chocolate website I will show you a photo, step by step. I already have the pictures uploaded, Woo Hoo...just need to get them put on my site, will do that tomorrow. But in the meantime, here is how I spend my time.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

American Idol Recap

Ive been really looking forward to American Idol tonight, and while Im not sure he's my complete "favorite", I will say that Adam is the contestant I am really looking forward to hearing.

I think he is genius. Ring of Fire was AMAZING....sorry if the judges were too lame to realize it.

Now for tonight, I thought you all would really want to know; "What does HSH think?" LOL, not really, but Im tellin' ya anyways;

Anooop: Im not necessary all, "ANOOOOP DOG" or anything, but he had nice vocals tonight. Perhaps he could have taken more risks, etc. but it was still nice, and I was afraid he was gonna cry when the judges made their harsh comments.

Meghan: Ill be honest, my conservative self cant stop fixating on the tattoo. Every week I say to myself, "Such a pretty girl, why did she do that to herself?" And then I wonder if it's possible to get it completely removed, or will she always be scarred with it. Sad. She is cute, and her voice might do well with some songs, but she sounded super pitchy tonight, and boring. Note to Meghan, the audience WASNT feeling it! I can see her having quite a following at a coffee house, but Im not gonna buy one of her albums.

** Side note **
Im getting confused, do they want them to pick a song that represents their style? If so, are they then going to tell them the songs are too "Safe"????

Danny: his voice sounded strained, but I totally felt the emotion, heck, wanted to cry for him. Amazing song, amazing singer!

Alison: She rocks. More importantly, the these people not realize that criticizing the "looks" of a teen girl, in front of tons of people, is totally not cool??? What teen girl (or any girl, or anyone??) wants to be criticized? Her outfit was just fine...., and RANDY, hello? Have you ever seen the old Journey videos? The ones where FAT RANDY is wearing red, spandez pants and an afro-hawk? She rocked. 'Nuf said!

Scott: Just so you know, Im not a huge fan. Im sure his mom is bursting with pride, and I give him major props, he is an accomplished and brave young man, but Im not buying an album. e.v.e.r. That said, When he said, "Im gonna strip it down with just me and the piano." my eyes rolled back into my head. Im just not into 70's piano ballads. Not tonight. Give me Daughtry, Give me Creed, Give me Pink, not a ballad. But his haircut did look nice, too poofy, but nice. As for the judges, why did Paula have to bring up his "challenges"?? She only accentuates the pity-card when she does that.

** Side Note***
Was Paula drugged tonight? I mean, more than usual? She was a bit slurry and drippy.

Matt: Sometimes pitchy, but I liked it a lot. I love that song and he had great emotion. As for the judges...Are they kidding? Criticize that his voice wasnt at it's best, but that song was great, and perfect for him!

** Side Note **
Im liking people based on the songs, more than their people, no more ballads!

Lil: I like Lil. She is sweet. Im not a huge Celine fan. I mean, it's part of that "ballad" crowd that just makes me tip over out of boredom. But, Lil did a great job. She has an incredible voice. The hairdo looks nice on her,, but Im not a big fan of wigs, so that was distracting...but overall, nice performance. Paula gave the best critique....we dont want more "adult contemporary" music. (period. from anyone.)

**Side Note** My husband, who doesnt usually make fun of people, made jokes about her name throughout the performance. Shame!

**Another Side Note **
love how they are saving Adam til the end EVERY WEEK...they know he is what keeps many of us tuned in!

Adam: Ive been waiting to hear Adam, since he sang his final note last week. He is so filled with talent...Ok, he should have saved this for 70's night. I would have liked to hear him sing something more current...but he was amazing. His voice is phenomenal!

Kris: I think Kris is adorable. The past weeks, Ive liked him, but dont feel he has the power that some of the others bring. Tonight, he seemed much stronger and I got to hear his clear voice with plenty of emotion. Not a huge fan of the mustache, but unlike a multicolored tattoo covering an entire limb, it's removable.

My favs are probably Adam, Allison, Danny, Matt and Kris. These are the folks that have the best shot of selling me an album.

How about you? Who'd ya love? Who made you hit the zzzz's or plug your ears?

Friday, March 27, 2009

All the fun

For today, all the fun is happening at my other blog....great things you wont want to miss!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Mini Me

Lately, Ive been starting to see a few of these around town;

These mini cars save on gas, reduce pollution, and would help make the world a greener place. And, if there were a way to strap my kids on top, perhaps with a special child-roof rack, it would be much more doable. But as it is, I dont understand how we are to fit a family with 3 children, and their regulation car seats (Im not gonna even mention friends for a play date.) But, let's suppose they work that out....and we can all fit, and it's the perfect car. Is it really the best idea to get a car like this, when so many of the other cars look like this;

And this:

It seems to me, that we cant all be on the same roads at one time, it's just not safe. It seems the auto industry needs to come to some sort of agreement re: cars and sizes and such, so that we can all drive safely together. We should either all be mini-ish, or not, but this mixed bag is scaring me.

Friday, March 20, 2009

we're breaking up

You know, sometimes you think you know someone, you think you can trust them...not just "trust them" with a confidence, but that you know what they are about and that you can trust their character, their judgment. And then, there are those times, you realize, you were totally wrong, and you have quite an emotional toll to pay for it.

And, Ill just say this, it's never easy breaking up. Even when you know someone is no good, you want to hold on to what was, and what could be.... Forcing yourself to walk away is often the best plan, but the hardest to do.

But now I have kids involved, and for their sake, Im going to do whats right.

So, it's official, we are D.O.N.E. with this guy!

In case the mussed up hair is making it hard to see....or if your brain just cant register the image of this guy in this provocative pose, let me's Zac Efron. Zac as in, "Troy Bolton" the guy my daughter swoons over.....the High School Musical stud that brought us great music, and a lot of fun.

He's on the beach, rolling in the sand, with a NAKED GIRL (and no, it's not his other naked girfriend, Vanessa....and, on a side note, we "forgave" Vanessa for her photo-episode, but this was planned and purposeful on Zac's, no grace!)

And, I realize this picture is only of their sand covered, faces, but go ahead and google it, the real pic shows the girls BARE BOTTOM and she is topless!!

So, now that Beauty loves this guy, this "wholesome" guy, he goes and does this. I could see if eventualllly, the fame wagon took him down this road, but this was a sudden jump into the abyss. Zac commented in the accompanying article, that he wants to start taking some riskier moves. Super!

The sad part, is Beauty just saw a billboard for an upcoming Zac Efron movie, and is excited for it's, there is no way we are going. She's young, but Im gonna teach her now, to learn to walk away.

If next week we see some article, where he is crawling back to his teeny-bopper fans, with, "Im so sorry" and "I made a bad choice"...we arent gonna fall for it. We are totally walking away from this guy, lesson learned.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I wouldnt expect anything else

You know, it seems that some things are just expected. Like, when my kids were set up to have their annual professional pics taken, and they got lice the week prior. It really wasnt a surprise, that something would happen to make things less than perfect.

I mean, the fact that I slathered their heads full of vaseline (to kill the lice) and then had to wash it several hundred times, on top of covering their strands with corn starch (to soak up the vaseline and make it easier - supposedly - to get the vaseline out)...that was sort of the norm, in a special sort of way. Why in the world should their hair just look normal for their pics? Why shouldnt I have to be frantic and work at it?

So, being as we have "family portraits" scheduled, family as in, even mom and dad (which hasnt been done EVER), it would be too unusual for us to just all look our best, really.

It started this morning, when Pooper came to me, realizing it was St. Baldricks (a pediatric cancer fundraising event, that takes place on St. Patricks Day, where people are sponsored to shave their heads) and told me he wanted to go to a St. Baldricks event and have his head shaved. He even had brought a handful of money to donate.

Well, how do I say, "No" ??? Normally, I could care less if he is bald....we got over that a long time ago. But, pictures are coming up. But, this is for pediatric cancer research....thankfully, the event was for such a narrow window of time (not all day) and it conflicted with swim team. He cried, I stood my ground, family pictures saved.

That was until my perfect child (and by perfect I mean so gosh darn well behaved that it frightens me) came upstairs to have her hair done. And, how odd it was, that the front of her hair didnt seem long enough to reach into the pony tail. Considering her hair is all one length, and pretty long at that, it was odd. And then, those spikey hairs by her forehead, was that new hair growth? a fresh batch of "baby hair" it's become quite crystal clear, Beauty has cut her freakin' bangs! Of course! We are having family pictures in a couple weeks, I wouldnt expect anything else!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Not our family sport

I cant wait until my kids are just a bit older, so that we can start doing fun family activities together. It's not that we arent creating traditions now, like going to the yogurt shop or watching Disneyland parades...but Im looking for something more adventurous that we can do together.

You know how some families all go dirt bike riding on a regular basis, or snow skiing several times a winter....'cause it's their THING?? Well, Im looking for something like that for my family.

I can tell you right now, it's NOT going to be ice-skating.

Today we went to the "Great Park" (that's what it's called) and they had free ice-skating at a rink that they have set up. It was My Honey's idea to go, and it sounded fun to me and the kids, so off we went.

Believe it or not, they had skates tiny enough for Little we were all on the ice. Holding onto the rails, unsteadily jerking around, catching the side rail, falling on our rumps....slowly and painfully, edging around the rink. Joy.

My Honey very quickly decided to sit out with Little One, because one more trip around the circle would probably have resulted in her arm being pulled out of it's she held her Daddy's hand and slipped to the ground.

I actually did ok, with short glides, able to distance myself about a foot from the brave was I! But for goodness sake, how much fun can you have when your ankles are aching and you feel as if you might split your head open at any second???

Beauty was loving it. She more or less walked around the ice, but she was confident.

Pooper...God love him. I was reminded that his osteoperosis and neuropathy limit his strength, as his ankles were much weaker than anyone else (which is pretty weak) and could barely support him. He didnt give up, he insisted on going round and round for the entire 45 minute session. Body pressed against the side wall, tightly gripping the rail, as he moved him self along. He was a real trooper.

And while we now have a "family ice skating" memory....Im sort of thinking, perhaps hoping, it's our last. I dont plan on being the family that makes a habit of ice skating together. It's not going to be our thing. It's just not.

What Im really waiting for, is for Little One to get another year or two under her belt, so we can go kayaking, snorkeling...and eventually white water rafting and scuba diving together. We will be the family that heads to the water for our annual vacations, and sneaks in mini-trips in between. Yep, it's going to be water for us, all kinds of water, as long as it's not frozen!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Where have you been?

Ok, I admit, I have slipped out of bloggerville.... I have been busy doing my chocolate stuff, blah blah blah....and you dont even have to hear about it here, because I have a new blog JUST FOR CHOCOLATE, where I share my recipes, entertaining ideas, and more. You can visit it at or just click here.

But goes on, and there is just so much fun stuff that I have missed out on telling you.

The kiddos have all been fantastic...

Pooper just won 1st place in his speech meet competition, and will go on to the regionals. He also is pretty enthraled with his Nintendo DS and all things Pokemon. In fact, Pooper, recognizing the need in the world for tips on how to play Pokemon on Nintendo, wanted to create his own blog... Check it out!

Beauty is her same sweet self, going through her day with joy and obedience. She is excited to go camping soon, with her Y Indian Princess tribe (father-daughter thing)...her Indian Princess name is Little Dancing Dolphin, and she and Big Laughing Shark (My Honey) will be in the San Diego area for an upcoming weekend, probably learning Pow-wow songs and stuff.

Little One is two, and I mean, she is living and breathing the twos and all things terrible that it brings; independence, resistance, insistance, refusal-to-sleep-and-then-crabby-due-to-being-tired.... but I must say, while she exudes the 2's more than my other kids ever did, she is also incredibly adorable....and honestly, I thank God for her confidence and independence, even if it's driving me crazy now.

So, that's how Ive been spending my time....what about you???

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

What was she thinking?

Well Hello,

Long time no chat. I dont know if I could have ever really called this "chatting"...but, *I'M*

As you probably know, because Ive rambled on about it before, I went to the Mars Chocolate School a couple weeks ago, and let's just say, it was AMAZING. My kids squeeled when I told them there were free candy bars just lying around all over the place (true!).

I earned the trip as part of my new Dove business, Im an independent Chocolatier, and I was rewarded for my sales and team building. Dove treated me like a queen....there were 14 of us that earned the trip, and at every turn we were being given lavish gifts, taken to fancy restaurants, and the entire time we had private rooms in a swanky hotel.

But now, Ive returned to life, and life it is.

This past weekend, there has been a creepy predator in our neighborhood. He approached Pooper and his friends on Sat. evening, and on Sunday at noon he was back and tried to abduct one of the boys (Pooper was not there on Sun.) Apparently there have been other instances this past week, same our normally tranquil community has been swarming with dozens of Sheriff's deputies going door to door asking questions, and news crews have been camped out giving "live reports".

While Im glad to have the news coverage (better opportunity to catch the jerk)...Ive never understood why a TV crew would brave the LA traffic and drive all the way here (2 hours away), just to have our street in the backdrop. Is the story any different if they just report it from behind the news desk? Is it worth the gas and man power to have actual homes in the scene? Such a mystery.

Another mystery, the one that prompted my writing today, is why anyone would do THIS

And before you think this is some tribal custom...the woman is Brazillian and lives in Scotland, she's not "tribal" AND, she's a nurse, like, WHOA! Imagine waking up from a coma to see her face!

I saw the article in the news, and I just cringed. My kids already know that tattoos and piercings wont be allowed in my home (at 16 the girls can get each ear single pierced) me too strict, call me Duggar-ish, I dont care, it's how we roll. I cant imagine anyone enduring that much physical pain, or wanting to endure the stares and judgement (because, obviously they would get it.) What makes a person want to be considered a weird-o?

Then there is the other extreme, the plastic-barbie-I-look-perfect facade that is trademark for some folks, going so out of their way to be accepted.

(speaking of the barbie-bimbo types, did anyone see the Real Housewives of the OC last night? I dont know what is worse, having a creepy predator or an OC housewife in my neighborhood!!!)

In any is strange, and it continues on...............