The Chocolate Lady

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Danger ahead - Caution!

Ok, news junkie that I am, I was sifting through the online stories of all that has gone wrong with the world, and I came upon a doozie. Trust me, I must read a dozen stories a day that shock me, even sicken me, and many times, Im tempted to post it up on this blog and ask all of you good readers (all 5 of you)...WHAT IS GOING ON????

I usually am successful at just getting over things on my own...and instead, blog about my children wearing clothes 4 years too small, or tell you about my obscene, sex-crazed neighbors, arent you glad?

But today, Im sorry, cant resist it. There are so many things wrong with this story, that I felt it was sort of my civic duty to point them all out, so as to protect you good readers from similar injury.

Going round the news wires, is a story about a woman who was injured by her low-rise, v-string and is now suing Victoria's Secret.

Ok, where to begin....

First of all, the woman is 52 years old. Don't get upset! I realize some of you still like to wear sexy undergarments, despite your AARP membership, and that is just fine....but, Im just saying, in case anyone was wondering....the woman is 52. This wasnt an unexperienced, teen, thong-wearer, no, she was a grown woman.

And, just for clarification, this wasnt a G-String, but a LOW-rise v-string....which means, that Macrida (the 52 year old woman), not only wears butt floss, but she wears them low, probably because she also wears low rise pants.

So, to summarize thus far....52 year old, wearing low-rise v-string and low rise pants.

Now, how, you may be wondering, did this woman get injured from such undies??

Well, Ill tell you how. A "decorative metallic piece" flung off the string, as she was putting them on...and it hit her in the eye.

Think about that...."decorative metallic piece"....I mean, Im trying to envision a v-string with metallic decorations....studs? chains? a hello kitty emblem?

Was plain cotton not sexy enough for Macrida? Did she have to buy the kind that are all embellished with decorative, metallic pieces????

I realize Im probably the lone wolf here, the odd-man out, the nerd.....but, come on, let's get back to wearing underwear that are practical and comfortable. Im all for them being sexy and fun, but for crying out loud, if there are 3 things I dont want on my back side, they are "v-string", "low-rise" and "metallic pieces"

What did she expect? Did she think these would be safe? I mean, if that dagger didnt fly off and hit her in the eye, it very well could have poked her where the sun doesnt shine, come on!

They are underwear me Amish, but I think this is a wake up call for everyone to just get back to the basics when it comes to covering up their privates.


Anonymous said...


First, EWWWW!

Second, what kind of force was place upon the garmet for the peice to FLY off?

This just has too many issues to even think about it!

The Running Girl said...

Hadn't seen this story yet, so thanks for the morning laugh!

Grandma J said...

I just saw the woman injured by her thong on the news. Evidently she has loss of sight, excessive tearing, and other stuff wrong. To see her on TV you'd never know she was injured. She was with her attorney, and all dressed up. I didn't see anything wrong with her eye, so the injury must be internal. She's from Culver City CA.

Anonymous said...

i take offense here. after all, I am older than her and very HOT! I don't wear a v-string, but I do wear metallic and low rise..excuse me!! I hope I don't go blind!

Anonymous said...

To each his own. Personally I have spent my whole life trying to find a good pair of undies that DONT go in the crack. Now you pay a premium for ones that do..........go figure. As for the metallic how big a piece could it have been?????????? (maybe we should go back to the no undies days lol)

Young Creations said...

She and her attorney with on the Today show this morning. They were claiming that they DID NOT WANT MONEY. They were only concerned with the public's safety. And if you believe that, I have some timeshares that I want to sell you.

Allison said...

I read your blogs ALL the time. So I guess I can be reader number 6! Haha... I'm Allison. I had been reading the caring bridge site for quite sometime. I think while I was in college and I've been out for a couple years now.

I couldn't believe when I saw this story. It's almost as bad as when the lady sued McDonalds, because she was driving with her hot coffee between her legs and it spilled on her. Shed burned her legs. Pathetically she WON! The nerve...

Anywho, my Mom is that age and wears all that stuff. I must say my Mom has better fasion sence than I do and I'm 23. I thought it was SOOO funny that you called it "butt floss", because that is EXACTLY what I call it. Granted I have FORCED and I repeat FORCED myself to wear a thong on the every-so-often occassion, but still I prefer my days of the week underwear! HAHA- yes the plain ones that cover all!

Allison said...

oops... sense! There thats look better.

PS- I work in an elementary school and there is this little boy there that looks so much like pooper it always makes me think of him!

Pooper is Andrew right??? HAHA