Winter Wonderland, Part 1

Things around our house can get kind of hectic. Hectic in the sense that we sometimes want to strangle each other, or we threaten to trade people to other families, not really, well, ok, really, but, not because we dont love each other, just because we need a vacation.

One day, a few weeks ago, we were all sitting around trying to think of our last vacation, and we came up with Andrew's "Make a Wish" trip to Florida to see Spider Man. That was November of 2005, and while it was a wonderful trip in many ways, it was also hectic. Without going into all of the details, the journey there took 17 hours and 2 plane changes....and that about sets the mood.....

So, a few weeks ago, I decided to take a hallucinegic drug, er, I mean, use my imagination, and pretend that our wealthy Aunt Julianne bought us a tropical vacation on the Home Shopping Club. Im not sure if they sell trips on the HSN, but, it was a dream....

I then went online, and browsed all of the vacations that I would like to take....The Beaches Resort, with Sesame Street characters in the Bahamas was my trip of choice, but since Aunt Julianne is on restriction from making purchases from the TV, I decided to look into some get-away ideas at a more reasonable rate.

I remembered President's Day 1998, when My Honey and I went skiing in Durango, CO. It was an amazing trip (also the trip where the kids we chaperoned smuggled in drugs, and we had to call the cops, and the other chaperones called the cops back and told them not to come....which is another saga all-together....) But, I remember the snow, and how fun that was.

Then, I remembered when we took Pooper and Beauty up to the snow for a day, a few years ago, and how much fun that was.

Then, I considered that the kids had a 4 day weekend for the Presidents Day holiday, there was snow on our local mountains, the weather forecast was for mild temperatures....local+snow+mild forecast=perfect opportunity for a trip to the snow.

Perusing cabin rentals online, I found one that looked perfect, and inexpensive...it was also the only thing available, as everything was booked....which made it worth looking into.

Super long story short, we rented the cabin for 2 nights, and made plans to go on a road trip.

The kids were so excited. I went to the local second-hand-kids-clothes-store and got some snow pants and boots, and we were good to go.

Once packed, we were on the road.

We journeyed 90 miles over the next 2 hours. The second half of the trip was mostly winding, mountain roads.

We listened to The Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus, and eventually, the "Freedom Rock" CD made it's way into the car stereo.

I dont know where I got this CD, most likely it was a bonus when I joined the, "Sounds of the 70's" CD club back in the 90's. It was full of peace-loving songs, and the kids just loved it.

Pooper's favorite, was, The Night They Drove Ole Dixie Down. We played it about 10 ten times, with me stopping the song periodically to explain that it was "folk music" and give accounting to him of the meaning and history of the song.

Beauty's favorite was, One Tin Soldier. Again, I stopped the song often so that the kids were clear about the "treasure" that was buried on the hill, and how it was really just a loving message of "peace on earth" and how the greedy people of the Valley wanted something that wasnt theirs, and killed people because their materialism overtook them and caused them to value riches more than people. Ok, maybe a bit too deep for Beauty, but an important lesson, none the less.

And, both kids got a kick out of, "War, HUH, What is it good for?"......although Doug and I were sure to point out, that while the man said, "absolutely nothing".....we were able to live in a country that was free, safe and full of hope, because soldiers were protecting that freedom for us!

So, as you can see, the ride up was rich in culture, thanks to our "folk music" lessons.

As we made our way through the snowy, forest, Pooper's car sickness got the best of him. We were close to the cabin, and were anxious to get the kids inside, especially Pooper, so that he could throw-up in a real toilet, rather than a fast food bag.

Unfortunately, when we arrived, we saw this.




That's right, that's a cabin, with the drive way covered in snow. And the stairs that go up two flights to the front door, are also packed in with a good 2+ feet of icey, snow. (at the time I took this, My Honey had already cleared some of the stairs at the top, but trust me, when we pulled in, the stairs were covered, and My Honey and I had to climb through it to get inside the cabin.)

Stay tuned for the further adventures of our Winter Wonderland.....

Greetings from Antarctica

Ill write more later, oh boy will I write more later.......but in the meantime, I really need you to take my newests poll...it will help me determine if my brain is freezing.

Times they are a changin'

Valentine's Day #1

My Honey and I had just started dating, after many months of friendship. He had recently moved to Arizona, and I was still settled in Southern California. I became a regular on the Southwest flight from John Wayne to Phoenix, the first time being for Valentines Day, 1997.

I was greeted with roses, a gift bag full of lotions and sprays in my favorite fragrance; Sun-ripened Rasberry.

My Honey and I left the airport and headed to a wine shop, for a night of wine tasting. It seemed very fancy, and although I dont drink, I was looking forward to the event. You see, we wouldnt actually be drinking, we would be "tasting."

Little did I know, that "tasting" 16 different 1/2 glass of wine, is the same as DRINKING 8 glass of wine. Which is the same as being super drunk!

I thought I was so cute in my size 4, Ann Taylor skort and brown clogs. I tried to act refined and SOBER while we were at the shop, so as not to let My Honey know that I couldnt handle "tastings." Although, Im pretty sure he got the message on the way home, when we spotted a car accident on the side of the road. I opened up the car door, wanting to get out and help, however, the fact that our car was driving past the scene (and not stopping) caused My Honey to reach over, pull me inside, shut the door, and realize that he had a completely bombed date.

Whatever plans he had after that, I dont remember, because instead he stopped at the first Chinese restaurant for take out, so as to get some food in my stomach....my empty stomach that hadnt eaten since before my flight.

Im pretty sure I passed out after I shovelled a carton of Orange Peel Chicken into my face. How romantic.

Valentines Day #12

Little One was screaming and crying, wanting to be held, as I helped Beauty out of her swimsuit. Pooper was still in the pool, finishing up his last 100 yards of freestyle. Through the chaos it hit me, "Oh no, I dont have anything to make for dinner, and it's Valentine's Day!"

I managed to get Beauty into some borrowed sweats, since I forgot her clothes, and Little One settled into my lap, with a free hand, I grabbed my cell phone to call My Honey.

"What should we do for dinner?" I asked

"I was thinking we could go to some place that doesnt take reservations. If we get there early, we can beat the crowd" He assured me.

"Sounds good. Pooper will be done at 5:15, and we will leave as soon as I can get him changed into some dry clothes." I said, feeling good that we had a plan.

Unfortunately, My Honey arrived at the restaurant at 5:30, only to find out they had a 2 hour wait. We figured that any other place would be the same, and decided on meeting at our favorite taco joint.

Albertacos. It's cheap, greasy, authentic, delicious, and the most unromantic joint in town.

By 6pm, we were gathered around our table, enjoying the guacamole, and commenting on how the busy hole-in-the-wall was empty because everyone else was waiting 2 hours for their dinner.

By 7pm we were home, and by 7:15 I was fishing poop out of the bathtub.

While I doubt that 12 years ago I could ever have imagined spending Cupid's holiday this way, I have to say, that in many ways, this Valentine's Day was just as romantic as the first, maybe even more so.

How did you spend your Valentine's Day?

Bossy, please dont be afraid!

I dont want to scare any of you, especially Bossy , because I am (hopefully) on her corporately sponsored, "Bossy's Exellent Road Trip", but California is a hot bed of earthquakes.

The other night, while doing my "night owl" routine of catching up on all the news-junkie-political-goings-on, I got a bit dizzy. It was as if I was swaying, ever so slightly. I quickly glanced at my glass of water, sitting on the desk, trying to catch any minor ripples or swishing, and there were none. But I didnt give up that easily, you see, I'm a native Californian, felt my first earthquake at the age of 5....

...it was February, 1971, and I was sleeping, dreaming of kindergarten, which I loved, or maybe dreaming of my new snow cone maker or Suzy bake oven, but undoubtedly dreaming of something when my mother came into my room, in the middle of the night's darkness, to wake me up. (now, wouldnt you just let your sleeping child sleep? but anyways....)

Grandma J: "We are having an earthquake!"

Me: still groggy, "No we arent"

GJ: insisting, "Yes we are!"

Me: "I dont feel anything."

GJ: "Look, the lamp is moving" with her hand, suspiciously close to the fancy 1970's lamp, dangling from the ceiling by a clunky chain, at which she was pointing.

Me: "You pushed the lamp."

GJ: "Ok, wait til tomorrow, you'll see."

And that was my recollection of the 6.7 Sylmar quake.


but, back to the other night....I knew that dizzy sensation, it had a rolling effect, the same feeling that you get when you are a adrift in a boat on a quiet lake.

So, fingertips already on the keyboard, I clicked over to the US Geological website to check out our earthquake map, to see if there had been any slight tremblers.

Lo and behold, there had just been a decent sized (5.4 on the Richter scale) shaker near the California-Mexico (wide open come cross me!) border.

The really fun thing about the website, is you can submit your own experience...did you feel it? was there damage? etc.....all of which you rate on a scale. Soon, you can see who felt it, via maps or zip codes...and how strong it was across the area. I was suprised to see that even though we are 250 miles away, at that late hour, in my little zip code, 6 other people had reported feeling the effects. Kind of cool in a "surfing the web" kinda way.

As I was clicking through the website that night, suddenly, but unfelt by me, a second earthquake was recorded at same site!! When I woke up in the morning I checked again, and there had been several more.

That was a few days ago, and just look what the map looks like now

I told my honey, "If I were a betting wife, and just be lucky Im not, Id put some big dollars on a big quake around this part of the globe, and soon!"

And then, this morning, I saw that further south in Mexico there was a big quake. Glad the continent shifted to the south and not the north....but by the looks of the map, things have not yet settled down.

I dont want any of you to go and get worried....we get quakes here, and almost always they are harmless. It's not half as scary as living along the south-eastern shores, that get hurricanes cruising through each year....or the tornadoes or ice storms, or even snow storms that cause destruction across the rest of the country. No, our quakes are not too bad, and considering we get to live in near-perfect weather conditions, year round, (a balmy mid 70's) today...it's not a bad deal.

But, I did just want to throw it out there, sort of as a pre-"I told you so" sort of way...that we may be getting ready for a bit of a shake up around these parts.

My night at the discotheque

In an effort to "keep it real"...and because Im a hard-core "night owl"....I'm going to share some fun with all of you, even if it is nearly midnight.

In a nutshell, my kids have been sick this week. They all have something a little different...sort of like everyone has 1.5 different bugs, and they are sort of on rotation, just to keep me on my toes, wondering who might vomit next....and I hate vomit.

In fact, Ill share with you just how selfish I am as a mom....while I should be thinking, "oh, my poor dear doesnt feel good, how can I make them feel better?"...really what I think, is, "OH CRAP! What can I do to make sure the vomit doesnt get on anything? Ill get the kid a bowl, and they better make sure they keep their barf in the bowl and not go throwing up on the carpet or furniture!" Yeah, I know, nobody is going to be writing in to any "My Mother is the best because...." contests over that, but it's the sad truth.

Anyways. Little One has pneumonia. On Tuesday, our very astute doctor thought she heard it when listening to her lungs, but wasnt sure. An x-ray was not obviously definitive either, until the radiologist looked at it, and said it was indeed pneumonia. Also, she really didnt have "symptoms" of pneumonia....per se, I mean, that wasnt why I brought her to the doctor....

So, to me, the lame-o, un-medically-educated mom, that spells, "early stages" or "slight" pneumonia, right?

Our doctor is great, and she gave all the kids plenty of meds for their prospective bugs....Little One got steroids, an inhaler, and an antibiotic....a strong one! (zithromax). In fact, I came away from the pharmacy (after almost an hour of negotiating the incompetencies at the drive thru window..which is yet ANOTHER blog for another day)..with $200 worth of drugs. Can you say "poorhouse"?

So, after 2 days of the stuff, Little One seemed to be getting worse. Now she clearly is struggling to breathe, coughing a lot, feverish and lethargic. It seemed to my untrained brain, that her "slight" pneumonia had become "full blown."

I wondered if the meds were going to kick in or not. Should I wait it out another day or not? And while pondering these deep thoughts, I remembered that our doctor doesnt work on Fridays, and I didnt want to get stuck with Little One getting worse over the weekend, and forced to deal with the ineptness that is our "walk in clinic".

It was 5pm when I had that conversation with myself, so I hurried and called the doctor's office. DANG IT! She had left, but our nurse was there...whom I also love ( I love them because they HEAR me, and they give my kids the strong meds they need...I dont get the brush off, which only drives me insane.)

I told the nurse, "should I wait another day for these meds to work? Should I get a different antibiotic? At what point do I decide this isnt working?"

Dear Nurse M., who feels the same way about the walk in clinic as I do, said, "Just be safe and take her to the ER."

And then I cussed under my breath, and over my breath, and told her I was sick of spending all my time at doctors offices and hospitals....but realized she was right...it was the only real choice.

So, I PACKED UP ALL THE KIDS AND CALLED MY HUSBAND WHO WAS ON HIS WAY HOME FROM WORK, and we went for a little vacation to our TIME SHARE, which is a room at the ER.

We met in the parking lot, and Little One and I checked in, while daddy took the others and went and got dinner.

The ER was flooded with people. It was 6pm, and it looked like a nightclub. A cheap nightclub in a foriegn part of town. Sorry, but if you live in Southern California, you might know JUST WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT.....as those without insurance and doctors, get free health care at our emergency rooms, and they all seemed to be there on the same night, tonight.

We were only there for 4.5 hours, thanks to Little One being a baby with breathing issues. heck, if she didnt have them, I might have come up with a quick case of Munchausen by Proxy, just to cut to the front of the line....

She got more x-rays, which this time clearly showed pneumonia. They recongized her labored breathing and gave her a shot of a strong antibiotic, and a breathing treatment, and a popsicle.....and the nurse was a little annoying, in treating me like I dont know a thing about kids and illnesses and medicines...but that would be another post that I dont have time for now.

Little One was quiet and lethargic.....and while I starved and had a throbbing migraine....she sat and sucked her fingers, while cuddling in my lap. The only part of the night that was not painfully "hospitalish", was when the Celebrity Apprentice came on.....it gave me something to focus on, besides the argument in the hall, re: why a nurse sent a pregnant, bleeding woman straight to ultrasound, without her first being triaged, because now she is there without an IV and if she CRASHES, they may be in trouble.

So, no sooner do I get into the show, does the child life gal come and say, "oh, would she like to watch an Elmo video?"....Uh, no, I say.....she's probably not interested, it's past her bedtime and I think she just wants to rest.....

Which was much nicer than throwing a syringe at her hand and telling her to BACK OFF the remote!

But she insisted, eagerly trying to make my little one feel better.... I then got my migraine boosted by that creeepy Mr. Noodle.....and missed the "assignment".....and Little One didnt even watch the video.

But, we eventually made it home, after her breathing treatment.

And now, Im sitting here, with everyone in bed, praying for Spring to arrive so we can get on with life, and I dont mean CHICKENPOX or some other spring illness....just regular life, where we dont visit doctors.

AND, when I left the hospital, they want me to make sure to have Little One seen in the next 24 hours, by a doctor. ARE THEY KIDDING? It's like I should just hire our own family physician to move in with us or something. If she gets worse, naturally, Ill go back to the Copacabana, er, I mean the ER....if she is feeling better...we arent going anywhere near the place, unless they are providing happy hour, with free hors d'ouevres and drinks, then, maybe Ill consider it.

******************

For those of you saying the Rosary for our songwriter/sociopath, you can breathe a big sigh of relief.

When his dad got home last night, I secretly showed him the "hit song" THE THIRST FOR BLOOD. He was even more alarmed than I, wondering if we should padlock the kid in his room, for our own safety.

I assured him (with my fingers crossed behind my back) that such gorish ramblings were "normal for boys"

Then, this morning, Dad happily says, "hey pooper, tell mommy where you got the idea for your song."

and Pooper says, "Remember that (describes some plastic, monster-like figurine) that Grandma J got me?" (should we not have guessed that GJ had something to do with this? This is the woman that gave me kids marshmallows for breakfast and sugared cereal for dinner on their overnight slumber parties....)

I lie and say, "sure, oh yeah, that thing, yeah."

"Well," he tells me, "it came with a card that described the [whatever it's called] and it said he thirsts for blood."

And daddy, with a huge grin on his face, clearly relieved that he can sleep at night without a butcher knife under the pillow, says, "see, he read it from that character's info card....it wasnt his idea."....and "isnt that awesome that he could just read that, and then take that little info and write an entire song about it?"

Yeah, great.....I think.

***********8

Im going to try and get some sleep now, and dream of a tomorrow filled with unicorns and butterflies, with happy, well-adjusted, healthy children.

the crazy things that occupy my time

When Im not thinking about taking up drinking, Im pretty busy, with things like; fishing poop out of bath tubs, making a princess cake for a birthday party, making "penguin" cupcakes for a "classroom" party, and making coffee cake for another child - who was "star of the week", or obsessing over my child's "song" - a song he wrote by himself, which is actually very good and impressive, if it werent titled, "The thirst for blood", (now you see why Im obsessing? wondering if this is regular "boy stuff" or left over fascination from his life as a medical guinea pig (with blood as a central topic) or accepting that I'm raising a future homocidal maniac), taking kids to the doctor, only to find out that the kid with the horrible cough is "fine" and the kid with the ear ache (who, otherwise seems fine) actually has pneumonia, planning and giving a "doll party" - complete with 'pin the bow on the doll', making photo collages for 2 kids, doing laundry - enough to keep kids in matching, clean clothes, washing my hair when it gets so greasy that it looks like I have gel in it, did I mention fishing poop out of the bathtub?

Anyways, busy here.

And then, if I werent questioning my mothering skills enough, I read this And, while I dont have AIDS, I DO chew my kids food up when they are babies.....and this report mentions that this "practice" is unusual and is only seen in poor, underdeveloped countries.

Just because my kids poop any time their rear ends hit warm water, and my laundry has become a science fiction monster, and my son is writting songs about wearwolves, doesnt mean that I engage in unusual behaviors re: feeding my kids. I just happen to feed my kids FRESH FRUIT AND VEGETABLES, ie. not canned baby food (although there is nothing wrong with that at all....) and rather than boil or mash or puree everything, sometimes, it's just easier to put a handful of carrots in your mouth and chew them, and then give them to your baby (who is new to solids)....that's all...not such a bizarre concept, I think.

BTW, Ive been given strict instructions to have the "thirst for blood" song handed over to an agent, so that a video can be made and put on music.com, and nobody is allowed to hear or see the song, without paying for it, so, get your checkbooks ready.

and now look at this!

I open up my email box today to find my regularly scheduled, "Baby Center" email. Each week they send updates about child development, partenting info, etc. etc. It's not that Im interested much, I actually signed up when I was pregnant, because I loved getting the, "how is your baby growing" updates, complete with pictures and facts about fetal development. And now, the emails keep coming, telling me about my growing child.

So today, I got the "18 months, week 1" newsletter, and here is how it started:

Hello, Kim!

One tangible sign that your child has left babyhood behind is that she's beginning to be able to hold in urine or bowel movements. Starting about now, keep a potty seat around so your child can gradually get used to the idea of using it. Don't push it, though — while some toddlers may be showing signs that they're ready to try, many others won't be ready until they're 24 months old or even older.

Are they kidding? Potty seat? I SO dread the stage where they want to be rewarded with big kid pants, but dont have the consistancy to go in the toilet...I mean, I dread it soooo much, that I really just would like to postpone the toilet training stuff (ie. potty seats, portapotties for the car, etc.) and keep them in diapers for a long while, like, until they are writing in cursive. (The scenario of being at Target with one that cant hold it is all I need to put the brakes on potty training.)

With the exception of the, "Potty Nazi" (good one Karen!), aka. "Grandma J"....who starts having their kids use a potty seat at 18 months?

Actually, maybe some of you do/did, and maybe this will cause some of you to come out of "lurkdom"...hmmmmm.....

In any case, Im gonna let my 18 month old be an 18 month old, we'll move to the potty when she starts wanting to use it, without being enticed by potty seat with Dora on it.

Part 2, of Potty Training, Step 1

As we have discussed, the very wee-early stage (pun intended) of potty training, is the child's development of body awareness.

The "external" portion of that awareness, is the child recognizing that their diaper is no longer dry. The "internal" part, is recognizing that the *feelings* on the inside.

Case in point, Little One's new bath time ritual.

Tonight, I ran the bath, and put Little One in, without plugging up the drain. This is a new thing. In the past, I put her in, put in the plug, and let her play as the water fills to a safe, comfortable level. However, recently, she has come to realize that a warm, water bath is the perfect environment for pooping. So, I have learned, to leave the drain open for the first few minutes, so that if she poops, it will be easier to clean up. Dont worry, it doesnt mean I let the logs go down the drain, it just means, I can pick them up easily without massive disintegration in the water.

So, the bath ran, and after a while, I decided that she mustnt be in the mood to poop, and put in the plug. And the water filled, and Little One played. And sure enough, Beauty, who was in the bathroom, drying off from her shower, began to scream,

"She's pooping! She's pooping!"

"Ok Beauty, no need to be alarmed, go get mommy the wet wipes from downstairs" I said, as I let out the drain and held Little One out of the way of the floating logs.

Time passed, and I hollered for Beauty to hurry, reminding her that "hurry" means "RUN", as I watched the logs begin to split and separate, little pieces breaking off in the water.

Of course, Beauty is my child that doesnt like to exert too much energy, as she doesnt like getting hot, sweating, or breathing too hard. So, the poop continued to spread into many chunks, floating about, as I held Little One to the side, and pondered if it would now even be possible to pick the poop up with the wipes that might not arrive for another 10 minutes.

But Beauty showed up, and "ooohed and aaahed" while I tried to fish poop chunks out of the tub.

After a few rinsings, a spray down with bleach, and some scrubbing and rinsing again, I was ready to put Little One back in and clean all the poop residue off her cherubic body.

And then I remembered, this part of the potty training journey, when the child knows they have to go, and chooses to go when they feel relaxed and comfortable.

Rather than squat down randomly, when she feels the need, Little One is now choosing more comfortable times to relieve herself. Great.

I began having flashbacks, and suddenly I was overwhelmed by a prediction that my entire summer would be ruined.

You see, Beauty, while FULLY potty trained, felt the same "comfortable" feeling in warm water. So much so, that EVERY SINGLE TIME I took her to the pool, she pooped.

Our community has strict rules about children in the pool, and require (old school) plastic pants to go on every child under 4. It doesnt matter if they are potty trained, they need the pants, or they cant swim. Nobody wants to have to shut down the pool in the middle of summer because a little kid let a floater loose.

When Beauty was 3 AND POTTY TRAINED, we went to the "toddler pool" almost daily. The toddler pool is a small pool, 1.5 feet deep, just perfect for young kids to explore the water safely. It's usually filled with cute tots, sitting and playing with buckets, or splashing about.

Each day, I tripled Beauty up, in swim diapers, and 2 pairs of rubber pants, intent on staring at her the entire time, ready to spot the first signs of pooping (ie. that red face she gets), and determined to get her to the potty before she let one slip. I spent the whole time asking, "do you have to go potty now?" to which she always answered, "no". I tried so hard to make sure she didnt go in the pool, and I failed every time.

I spent many a days, at the showers, stripping her down, washing her off, cleaning out the swim gear, and packing up and going home. Part way through the summer I gave up all together.

Now that Pooper and Beauty are independent swimmers, and Little One is walking...and the perfect age for the "toddler pool" I was really looking forward to a great summer.

Until tonight, when it hit me, that, like her big sister, Little One likes to do her daily poop while relaxing in warm water.

I've got a few months to prepare myself, and pray that this phase passes quickly.

Potty Training, Step 1

My background in behavioral psychology has allowed my the fun task of lecturing families on potty training. Teaching parents how to recognize the first signs of readiness, the details of rewarding the child, and even how to "schedule train" those children, that for medical reasons, might never be able to go on their own.

If there is one thing that I feel strongly about, it's DONT HURRY THE CHILD. With the exception of those with mental of physical handicaps, everyone ends up potty trained. There is no contest to be the first to go in the toilet. And, truth be told, and my lazy nature to blame, I would much rather my kids stay in diapers for a while, it's easier than the inevitable accidents that come when kids train too early. Im not fond of being at Target with a child who doesnt have the muscle strength to hold it, KWIM?

**Yes, Grandma J, we know you successfully had all of your children potty trained by the age of 1, and you dont like my approach, but anyways...**

Little One has been showing those early signs; becoming aware that she potties.

It started a week or two ago at the pool, when she feverishly started to pull off her little jeans in the midst of Poopers swim team workout. At first I thought she didnt like the pants, but after a few days of the same behavior, I realized that she is now aware of when her diaper is wet, and she doesnt like it!

The past week has been spent changing her constantly, because as soon as she pees, she starts trying to get her diaper off, no matter where we are...pants off, hands in diaper, pulling on diaper, anything she can do to get away from the wetness.

I have found her running around bare bottomed, with her damp diaper left somewhere else in the house. She has made her point, she only wants to be dry.

The real kicker, is when she poops (which I usually change as soon as I know she has gone....which, apparently isnt fast enough!) She has stuffed her hand in her diaper a couple of times now! ACK!! I am now developing paranoia over her getting poop all over herself or the house! Which is probably, in part, due to the troubles we had with Beauty when she went through this stage (much earlier than her sister).

From the age of 8 months, as soon as Beauty pooped, she would immediately start taking it out of her diaper! We even had to replace the carpet in her bedroom, brand new carpet in our brand new house, because after trying to spot clean by hand, and even renting the industrial cleaning machine from the supermarket, I could still smell the poop!

So, Im taking extra measures to keep Little One from going that route; putting her in jumpers and onesies so she cant get easy access into her diaper, running around smelling her bottom CONSTANTLY to make sure she hasnt pooped, and changing her incessantly to keep her from getting uncomfortable (which leads to the strip down.)

This is the first step in the many that will follow over the next year or two....or three, when she finally reaches that independent stage. In a nutshell, we are embarking into the journey of potty training, wish me luck!

Battle of the Bads

As you probably have guessed, on Thursday nights, my rear end is nestled into the couch as I watch *Celebrity* apprentice. Being the Reality TV junkie that I am, I cant help it. It's clear that The Donald was really desperate for celebrities, because most on the show are D listers, at best, some Ive never heard of at all...like Nelly. He certainly doesnt have any Tom Cruise's or Gwyneth Paltrow's, instead he has a few that seem to be trying to make a life out of reality tv, cough - Gene! cough- Omarrrrrrosa!

Tonight, they both ended up in the BOARDROOM, with their big fat heads on the chopping block. As much as I dont care for Gene...and agree that his ego and pompousness and arrogance and jerkiness really cost them the job, I was rooting for O-my-rooster to get the axe.

and while we are talking about O-moooo-rosa, has anyone else noticed that she seems to have dropped some weight, and, sort of looks like she is on crack? Too thin, and mean spirited....this picture below was obviously taken a while back, because she looks less healthy now;




Maybe Im just annoyed, because on the first task, O-mimosa CLEARLY AND FIRMLY told Tiffany that they were NOT to use their celebrity to sell their hot-dogs (tough task huh?), and that strategy cost them the win. And Tiffany didnt fully come out and point the finger at O-my-momma, letting her off the hook. It was a shame, and yes, I did yell, "tell Donald she told you NOT to use your celebrity!" many times at the TV. but it didnt help.

So, now Gene is gone. I guess that's ok. He was too odd, and creepy. I mean, his hair looks like the world's largest brillo pad. Not that it matters, but, if a guy is gonna walk around and talk about how sexy he is, he should probably get a decent hair do. Maybe that's why The Donald liked Gene so much, they both are coiffaly (yes, I made that up) challenged.



Im not yet sure who Im rooting for.....kind of for Tito, because he has St. Jude's Children's Hospital as his charity....to fund pediatric cancer research. And, suprisingly, he seems like a really nice guy, if you can block from your mind that he dates a porn star (yes, I realize Im full of judgement here, but come on!)

Anyhoo....do you all watch this show? who should have gone home tonight? who do you want to win?

Come on, de-lurk for a moment and tell us.....

making lemonade

Im a news junkie. One of those people that loves to watch the news, read the paper and find out what's going on. I love Court TV, and become emotionally vested in a lot of the crime stories I hear about. It's bad for me, Im sure of it. The Bible says to focus on what is good, but I find myself gravitating towards the bad, fascinated, disgusted, but fixated.

Lately, as I read the news each morning, I have found myself becoming sick to my stomach. The crimes seem to be more twisted, more heinous, more perverted. In my professional life, I have worked with victims of child abuse, perpetrators of crimes, and thought I had heard it all, but daily, that is challenged by the horrible acts that make headlines on the news.

Thankfully, as much as I am interested in the tragic, I also love the good. One of my favorite "goods" is Alex's Lemonade

If you arent familiar with Alex, or her amazing organization, I would encourage you to take some time to browse their website.

In a nutshell, this darling little girl, battling cancer, set out to help her doctors by raising money. She was very clear to her parents, that she wanted to help kids with cancer (of whom she knew too many!) get better. This little sweetie, bald, sickly, held a lemonade stand.....and another....and got friends to hold stands....and before venturing off to Heaven, she raised $1 million dollars!!

Really, can you imagine?

It becomes easy to see where she got her grace and strength, as her devoted parents have continued her mission, and since that first stand in 2003, they have raised over $17 million dollars.

Alex's story and inspiration are surely the spirit of the organization, but you know what else makes it so amazing?? It's success is made, one cup at a time, from regular folks, donating a dollar here and there for a glass of lemonade. It's not powered by some big beauracracy...it's run by her parents, and a few friends, and mostly, but thousands of kids (and their parents) each year that hold lemonade stands to help kids with cancer.

As a mom of a kid with cancer, I LOVE that the money goes straight to research. They have a tiny bit of overhead (less than 10 percent) and all the rest goes to hand selected (THAT MEANS REALLY IMPORTANT AND NEEDED) research. If you go to the website, you can read about every research grant they are funding...for all kinds of pediatric cancer research....it's amazing!!

When I get mired in the bad of this world, I truly only need to think of Alex, her family, her friends, and all the people that have made Alex's Lemonade such a shining example of what God can do, what people can do, what we all should do when we face a bad situation....and it makes me smile.

With Spring right around the corner, and the official "Lemonade Days" coming up in early June....(BTW, "Lemonade Days" is when thousands of lemonade stands are all held on the same weekend, to raise money for a cure!)....but you can hold a stand anytime.....I hope some of you will consider holding a simple stand this year. It is so easy, and it feels REALLY GOOD to be a part of something so wonderful.

If you go to their website, www.alexslemonade.org you can sign up, they will send you a kit with everything you need, and it will be really fun and inspiring.

Also.....if you dont hold a stand, you can always click on the "find a stand near you" button, and support someone else who is holding a stand.

Lastly...may I recommend for EVERY child's library....The book, Alex and the Amazing Lemonade Stand.

It is SO DARLING....whimsical pictures and a very upbeat story about Alex....for those wondering, yes she is in Heaven, but the story does not discuss her death, simply her life and her precious legacy....it's a wonderful story for every child (and adult) to read.

Please, go visit her website, browse around....you'll feel good just learning about Alex and the way she has turned lemons into lemonade.

Feeling so darned abandoned, again.

Well, as the deafening sound of crickets implies, there has been no news from Miss Rachel.

I guess I should be concerned, as perhaps her poor health took a turn for the worse and she is unable to contact me...fat chance! The truth, more likely, is that the letter I sent tipped off the internet scammers, and they have deleted me from their list of people to try to rob. Perhaps my request for a photo was not subtle enough, Im just kicking myself for not working up to that request, maybe a couple emails of sympathy and a sincere desire to help would have worked my hook in a little deeper, before, BAM, asking for a picture.

So, now here I sit, totally bored, with nothing to do, except for try to tackle the laundry monster that is overtaking the upstairs portion of my house, and I dont want to do THAT. Or, I could always clean a toilet or something, but...Id rather sit here and feel bored.

Ill let you know if I do hear from her, and in the meantime, Ill just sit here staring at the carpet, counting little things that could be vaccuumed, if someone were to vaccuum.

Miss Rachel Responds

It seems as soon as I hit the "send" button, throwing my hat into Miss Rachel's ring, she sent me a response. It came so quickly that it made me wonder about this old, ill woman...does she sit at her computer and type super fast, despite being wearied by the chemotherapy? Did she have so much faith that I would take her up on her request, that she had already typed a response? Or, is she some man in India, who has such a racket going that he is at his computer 24/7 fielding emails from suckers like me?

In any case, here is the email I received.....


Dear Beloved,

I thank you for your prompt response. What I am trying To do is what some wealthy people failed to do before They died and I pray that God will give me the Strength to see that this is completed before I pass On. I have learned a lot since my conversion to Christianity and the illness.

The mistake we wealthy people make is that when God Bless us; we decide to use the money on ourselves Alone, but that's not the wish of God. In every Part of the world, there are the wealthy and the poor; God bless wealthy men with riches for them to do other Things and distribute their wealth to the poor and the Needy; but all they can do with their wealth it so use The money to acquire more money and oppress the poor Instead of helping them.

I must tell you the truth my Friend, if not for my illness and the sudden Conversion, I would not have known the other side of The world. I have been very happy since I grew up because I am Very wealthy but since my illness and conversion, I Realized that much people need this money more than I Do; that my mission to the world is to assist those That do not have, that's why God bless me! Although, I Have done the little I could, but at this point, I can Not go any further due to my illness which is really, Really getting bad.

Why I am saying all this is to Tell you that, money is not everything; money can not Buy life. I would want you to reconfirm this information to me so We can proceed on the next step that would enable you To take possession of the funds in UK.

1. Your Full name
2. Your Full Address
3. Your direct Phone number/Cell Phone number
4. Your Occupation
5. Age
6. Marital Status

I shall be waiting for your urgent response.

Stay blessed,
Mrs. Rachel Saleh.


talk about tugging at my heart strings!! Really though, I have to wonder about the type of person that could speak about such serious things, while all the while knowing it was just to scam someone! So, in the spirit of "right back atcha"...here is my letter back to her............

...first, let me just say, that I realize she is just frothing at the bit for my personal info, but, you know me, gotta get some pictures, make her jump through some hoops....see how much she really wants this..............

Dearest Rachel,

My heart has been turned towards prayers for you, ever since I received your letter. I am thankful that God has made such wonderful changes in your heart, and that you have a desire to share His blessings with others.

When I was praying today, God gave me an image of you, I know it was you. You were very sick, and your head was bald from the chemotherapy. But the smile on your face radiated the joy of the Lord. I felt in my prayer that God would have me see you, to confirm that this is a mission to do His work. If you could please send me a picture of yourself, I know it will assure me that God wants me to help you with this noble task.

With many prayers,
kim

Ill let you all know when I hear back, and cant WAIT to see the pictures of my "beloved"......

and, by the way, I feel like Wolf Blitzer, totally trying to figure out which way the wind is blowing with my online poll for President....you Obama-ites and Clintonistas sure have a way of keeping us all on the edge of our chair in a very narrow race!

Let's try this one more time....................

As the digital date changed to 2008, it seemed my email inbox was flooded with a number of new letters, letters such as the one below, asking for my help. Well, dont we all try to be kinder, better, more caring with each new year? So, in the spirit of putting out good karma, or, let's be honest, in the spirit of just wanting to try one more time to have some fun with an internet scammer....Ive decided to answer this letter.

I hadnt planned on answering another one, but, this one seemed to egg me on.....

Here is the letter from the dear sweet woman, and my response below.....
****************************

Hello,

I greet you in the name of God Almighty, I am Mrs. Rachel
Saleh formerly known as Mrs. Rukan Saleh, a widow to
Late Abdullah Saleh.I am aware that this certainly an unconventional
approach to starting a relationship. However, I would want you to give
this proposal a good thought. I crave your most desired indulgence. I
am an old woman suffering from cancer. From all indications,
my condition is really deteriorating and is quite obvious that I
maynot live long because the cancer stage is very severe.

My late husband died in an air crash on the 31st
October 1999 in an Egyptian airline Boeing 990 with other passengers
on board. You can confirm this fact from the
website which was aired by the BBC World
news:http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/502503.stm
and my only son Nasim died with his father in this same crash.

My late husband was very wealthy and after his death,I inherited all
his business and wealth. My personal
physician told me that I may not live for so long and I am so scared
about this. So, I now decided to divide part of this wealth,
by contributing to the well being of less privileged
people in the society like America, Canada, Africa, Europe
and Asian Countries.

I understand my request of you is no doubt is tasking.
I selected you for this purpose and prayed over it.
I am willing to donate the sum of
Eight Million United States Dollars (US$8,000,000.00)
to you for the development of the wellbeing of handicapped
in the society and also as aids for the less
privileged around your country, and I have mapped out
One Million, Two Hundred Thousand United States Dollars
(US$1,200.000.00) for your own personal use to help me for
this work which will stand for logistic and your compensation.
Please note that this fund is with a security
company in the UK. Therefore immediate application for Change
of Beneficiary in order to make you the beneficiary of the fund
will be put in place immediately I confirm your acknowledgement to do
this.

Please, do not reply me if you have the intention of using this
fundfor personal use, than enhancement of the comfort of the
Handicapped.
Lastly, I want you/your home to be praying for me as regards my entire
life and my health because I have come to find out since my spiritual
birth lately that wealth acquisition without God one's life is vanity
upon vanity.

I await your reply.

Mrs. Rachel Saleh

****************************
Now, Im sure you all can see why I MUST respond.....she greeted me in the name of "God Almighty" and as someone of strong faith, how could I refuse her request?

Plus, she has cancer, and, my family is connected to the cancer world too (whose isnt?), so, it's like an omen, that I am to carry our her wishes, right?

So, here is my response....

**************

Dear Rachel,

When I received your letter, I knew it was from God, because you sent your greeting in the name of "God Almighty" and that is something I know is true.

I have great sympathy for you, losing your son and husband, and now you are facing your own illness with cancer. May God be with you.

I am a woman of deep belief in God, and pray that He will guide me each day. I feel as if He is guiding me to help you, because I know your heart is trying to do the right thing.

One thing that made me so sure that I should help you, is that you have cancer, and my young son also had cancer. God did a miracle in healing him, and I want to do all I can for God to return the blessings to others. I know that because we both believe in God and also know the pain of cancer, that God has put us together to be partners to help others.

We know many young children who can not afford their medicine or cancer treatment, and I know that if you would like me to use the money to help these children, it would be an answer to God's healing for them.

blessings,
kim

***************************
So, now I will wait, and see if I hear back from Rachel, who claims to be an ill woman. I hope if she sends me pictures that I dont find her practicing pole dancer moves by the pool, like my sweet orphan daughter Sandy

Ill keep you posted....

and, while we are waiting, wont you take my poll? Let's find out how we compare to the frenetic polling that is going on throughout the country.....who is your choice for President?

My life as a virtual grandma

I remember hearing about Webkinz months ago. I was at our local toy store, and there was a frenzy of buying for the furry little creatures.

"You can register them online, and they are virtual pets, where the kids learn to take care of them. It's great for teaching responsibility!" Said our perky toy store owner.

The last thing my kids needed was "virtual responsibility", I was happy that they hadnt been hooked into this craze.

Fast forward to a couple months ago, when an UNNAMED GRANDMA purchased a generation of "virtual great-grandchildren" for Pooper's birthday. It was like a pet expolosion that weekend, and the results, are 8 new members of our online family.

Pooper has; Red Eye (tree frog), Sweetie (the black cat), Duey (the bull dog), and Brownie (monkey).

Beauty has; Twinkle Star Pink (the poodle) and Cutie (the panda)

*somehow* I got roped into caring for Little One's; Ruffy (the cocker spaniel) and Froggy. I cant help feeling like my teen daughter had children out of wedlock, and Im now one of those grandparents raising up the next generation....as I log on each day to feed, bathe and care for these little creatures.

For those who have been fortunate enough to miss out on this phenomenon (count your blessings), let me give you a little lesson.

You can buy a stuffed animal, which comes with a secret code, and then go to the Webkinz site online and register your pet. The Webkinz site knows the type of animal, based on the unique code, and it gives you a room (which you can decorate and furnish), a birth certificate and a little bio. You get to name your pet, determine it's sex, and then take care of it.

Each pet has 3 meters; health, happiness and hunger. It's up to you, to make sure your pet get's good care, is fed, etc. or they will get sick...and who knows what happens then! You can keep track of how you are doing by the meters, and making sure that all three aspects of your pet's life are being nourished.

You can earn money in the arcade, or doing daily tasks or at the employment office.....and you also must buy food, provide exercise, love and attention to your little pet. They also have stores where you can buy furniture, knick knacks, toys, a garden, all kinds of household stuff. Sounds easy.

My kids were all gung-ho to take care of their webkinz the first week, and it's not that their interest in the activity has lapsed, not at all, it's just that, well, my kids are horrible parents.

Pooper in particular, is the poster child for a dead-beat dad. Ive logged on to see how my virtual grandchildren were doing, and have been horrified at the lack of responsibility he has shown.

I know, I know, they arent real..........and, he's 7, but.........

It's kind of pathetic to see pets whose hunger meter is in the starvation range, and they have become so sick that there is an "ice pack" on their head (webkinz icon which means you need to take your pet to the doctor).....and there is no food in the home, and no money in the bank....

and yet, their father that is virtually starving them, has paid thousands of dollars to deck out his pad with bamboo floors, rock star posters, every odd knick knack, and a closet full of funky hats. Pooper gets particulary excited to tell me about all of his latest webkinz shopping sprees....recently, he has purchased a movie studio with actors, a fancy desk and bookcase, he has every possible electronic gadget for his pets.....but NO FOOD.

My Honey was particulary concerned, when he saw Duey in the arcade, with pink fuzzy sleepers, a cowboy hat, and polka dot pants.....

"Isnt Duey a boy?" he asked

"I guess" I wondered

"Why is he dressing his boy pets like hookers?" he said with concern

"starved hookers" I pointed out.

Im glad Ive still got some years to teach him about finances and responsibility, and that this is all a game, but Ill tell you that it scares me to think about the future....and Im worried that Im raising the next K-Fed.

Let me tell you about our Holiday Excursion......

With Christmas break coming to an end, I was feeling guilty for not having taken advantage of the time off to make memories with the kids. I mean, CHRISTMAS is a memory, of course, but something fun...and extra, and vacation-ish seemed in order.

I love seeing the Rose Parade in person.....it looks so stunning, so amazing, and after watching it on TV New Years morning (with my face aflame with a raging sinus infection)....I got the gumption to gather the kids and take them to see the floats.

My plan was to be out the door by 9am, which automatically translates to 11am, because, that's how we roll around here.

Get this one dressed, brush that ones hair, the other poops her pants - change the diaper, that one has a meltdown because he wants to wear all his spy gear and I say NO.....it goes on and on.....

Oh, and one thing I should mention, if you ever spend a 3 day weekend laid up with a sinus infection, take the time to brush your hair. Just because your eye is so swollen that you cant see, and your face feels like someone is pouring acid into your nostrils, dont think you dont need to detangle your tresses, is all Im saying, because you may then be faced with a huge nest in the back of your head...which will take a good 30 minutes of your time, while you wrestle with a brush and your daughters *detangler* spray, trying to get rid of the massive ball that was created while you didnt brush your hair for three days. And, such a thing only goes to slow you down when you are trying to get out the door to go see the Rose Parade floats.

By 11am, I was out the door; stroller (check), diaper bag with extra clothes, snacks and waters (check), jackets (check), money (check), kids in their seats (check).

We are READY TO ROLL.

First stop Starbucks, cause you didnt think I had time to feed my kids in that whole morning, did you??

I ran in, got the kids their pumpkin bread (each in their own bag) and their organic, chocolate milk (big treat!)....and I got my frappucino (which is sort of like a morning version of the ice-cream-shake)...and mine was made wrong (who is going to argue with a 1/4 cup of caramel on their morning ice cream shake??) ...but it was made wrong for the same reason that it took so long, because the "barista boy" was chit-chatting with his friends that had come to visit...goofing around and taking all the time in the world.....

in the meantime, my kids are waiting in the car while I "quickly run in"...and everytime I do that I fear I will return to a van that has 3 kids, and some "concerned citizen" and a cop, ready to bust me for leaving the kids alone (but bringing them into Starbucks would have just been a disaster....I was so lucky to finally have them in the car....)....but anways....

We get on the road, and thanks to "holiday light traffic" I got to our destination in just over an hour (about 60 miles away).

I was feeling pretty good, as we pulled up to Pasadena City College to park.....once I found a spot, we unpacked the car and headed over the shuttle bus.

This is about the point I should have patted myself on the back for just getting there, and turned around. But I had to push my luck.

It was now 12:45 and it was warm, AND, thanks to the increase in altitude (I leave near the beach, and this was up near the base of the mountains).....my sinuses had become enraged. Which in my world, means my patience level was operating at nil to none.

We walk the 1/2 mile to the bus area, to find 2 winding, long lines, and about a thousand people.

The first line, is to get the ticket to get on the bus. Naturally, just as we get into line, Beauty spies the porta-potties, and needs to go. And if she needs to go, we might as well take the time to ALL GO. 20 minutes wasted. and no one even peed.

So, then we wait in line for 30 minutes, it's hot, and Ive apparently forgotten the waters, and my sinuses are burning....but we are going to enjoy this.

Just as I step up to buy my tickets, with my 3 kids and stroller, some clown steps up to the counter in front of me. Some clown that just waltzed up, didnt wait in line......and, no joke, he had 2 black eyes! Wonder how that happened?? anyways......I pointed him to the back of the line, got our tickets, and we were on our way to line #2, the line to actually get ON the bus. But just as we went to get in line, Beauty grabbed her crotch, and we detoured AGAIN to the porta potties.

I would just like to mention, that while Beauty and Pooper slept on the hour long drive to Pasadena, Little One did not.

On a typical day, she would have already had a 2.5 hour nap, and she hadnt yet slept a wink. (dark, forshadowing music)

So, we finally go to line #2, which lasted about an hour. Little One wanted to be held off and on, squirming in and out of her stroller, etc....but I was pretty sure we would make it all work out. That is, until we got about 30 yards from the bus, and I was told I had to "break down" my stroller. Um, I cant break it down and carry it, and also carry my baby.....and quickly hop on a bus, and blah blah blah.......

But we did, and we got on the bus, and this was going to be fun.

Feeling pretty good that we had made it thus far, with no major meltdowns, I decided to do the "good-mother" thing and give my kids a talk about safety, and staying together, and going over their names, phone numbers, etc. and what to do if they got lost. They seemed to really get the drill, and knew just what to do if they got lost.

Once we got off the bus we walked the 1/2 mile to the float display area (a few blocks of city streets, that were roped off with the floats, as well as booths of food, drinks, etc.)

As we entered the gates to the float area, I pointed to the kids and showed them, "that is the *blue gate* lost and found, that's where you will go if you get lost, just ask someone in a white hat if you need help, or go to the *blue gate* lost and found."

Well, let me just say right now, that you may not want to drill this safety stuff into your kids so much, that they actually start to look forward to getting lost and getting to go to the lost and found.

With Little One in her stroller (screaming to be held), I forged ahead, with the other two holding hands, and walking right behind me.

We have a "rule" (I like rules), that when we are in crowded areas, they need to walk behind me, not beside me....there isnt always room to walk beside me, like at th grocery store, or the Rose Parade....so, it is best to avoid traffic run-ins, by walking right behind me....I forge the path ahead, and they just follow behind. It usually works. With me shouting out, "behind me, get behind me" everytime they start to go BESIDE me, and then get run over by some foriegn person.......

So, moving ahead, trying to look at the GORGEOUS floats, but having a hard time, because when you are in a super crowded area, with people packed in like sardines, moving slowly (if at all) you need to keep your eyes on the road, or your stroller will run people over...so, you keep your eyes on the person in front of you, trying to take side glances at the floats, while holding your now crying toddler, and navigating a stroller with one hand, while hollering out, "stay behind me, come on guys, stay right behind me" to the older ones.

And then, we stop at some floats to take some pictures, and catch our breath, and it was nice. for a minute.



As we continued forward, Pooper lingered, to look at the float. "come on, hold your sisters hand" I yelled, as we moved ahead, pushed by the crowds....but he didnt hear me (so he says)...and the next thing I know, he bee-lines it back to the *blue gate lost and found* !!!

What is he doing? He is only 10 feet behind us, Im yelling his name, while I try
to turn my stroller around, with one hand, against the direction of the packed people, screaming his name, as I watch him scurry off to the lost and found.

I try to catch up to him, it's like driving through rush hour on the wrong side of the road...his little body scoots in and out of the crowd, while Ive got to navigate my stroller..nearly impossible.

And as I approach the blue gate lost and found, I hear, "Will the parents of......"

"Im right here!" I say.......

The nice volunteer in the white hat was handing her newest little guy some crayons and coloring book.....

I was totally sweating, sinuses burning, baby now fully crying, and we were right back at the beginning!

I tried to gently remind Pooper, that while I was proud of him for knowing just where to go when he "got lost".....NEXT TIME, feel free to look around before you high tail it to the lost and found, because WE WERE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!

I couldnt say too much, what mom wouldnt be glad that their child knew what to do, and was safe (although he was always in our sights!)...so.....

We forged ahead......and saw some really beautiful floats.........


Elise was not so happy about being put in the stroller during picture times, she really just wanted to be held, dear thing.



And then, I saw this lady, and couldnt resist taking a picture. My friend Darla may be the only one that sees the humor in someone shalacking their hair in a purple spray (which may not be very apparent in the picture, but trust me, up close in person, it was clearly PURPLE)...but I took this picture for her...even though I dont think she even reads my blog.....but, anyways, this is for you Darla!!



We then browsed through the floats, got some junk food, and made the reverse trip home....

Here is Little One (churro in hand) on the bus ride back to the parking structure, now about 4pm, and hasnt had a nap all day!



And these two troopers.....(yes, Beauty did her own hair, at least it isnt sprayed purple!)



We made it back home around 7pm.....it was a long day, full of "memories" that Im sure in time will seem so wonderful, that I may even become so delusional that I take them again next year.

Christmas Chronicles 2007, Part 3

When the kids woke up Christmas morning, we all went downstairs together...except me, as I rushed ahead with my camera and made everyone wait until I was ready....

I captured the first looks of Pooper and Beauty as they laid their eyes on (what I thought) would be their most cherished gifts, their bikes.... (you can view those photos on Pooper's Site , you may need to check in the journal history for the pictures and story.)

But there were some presents that seemed to be even more exciting.

For Pooper, it was his "Ben 10 Deluxe Omnitrix"...which is some sort of large, watch type contraption that allows you to play digital games with monsters. Unfortunately, all stores were completely sold out of this strange item. I mentioned to Pooper that the stores were sold out, which meant Santa didnt have anymore, and I got that incredulous look, with a remark that "he can make anything!" So, I was forced to go on ebay.

When I got to ebay, I quickly learned that the folks at Ben 10 (which is a strange, animated show with a kid that fights off aliens) had remade their "watch" several times. There was the Deluxe, and the F/X and all sorts of other funky descriptor names, and I couldnt figure out which one was the newest, most-coveted. Luckily, I got the right one, cause can you imagine if I didnt?

And, before I show you the moment when Pooper opened his gift, Ill give you a little idea about him, and his interests, which might help you get a better understanding of why he likes this toy.



here he is, in his regular "get up"...notice the head set, which allows him to communicate with the command center (which is an American Idol microphone, a happy meal toy from McDonalds), the yellow thing around his neck, is his "ipod"..no joke! It's really just a yellow jumprope, and he tucks one end into his pocket, and pretends to listen and talk into the other end.....then, his arms are covered with a variety of "watch" type things (not yet the Ben 10, as this was taken before Christmas)....anywhoo, he feels very empowered by all these gadgety things, and has wanted the Ben 10 watch since last year (when I bought him a real watch with a timer, etc, instead! which obviously didnt satisfy himm, because the Ben 10 Deluxe Omnitrix was at the top of the list, again, this year.)

Here he is during that shining moment....




Unfortunately, he opened it in such a hurry, that the instructions were misplaced for the first two days. He wore it anyways, and became so frustrated with not being able to figure it out, that we heard things like, "I hate Santa" and "I wish I were Jewish".....hmmm....luckily for him, the instructions were found, and he was able to apologize for his outbursts.


As for Beauty, Ive already told you about her coveted jingling Greek skirt

But she also enjoyed many other glamorous items, such as a dozen things of lip gloss and body spray and a little kaboodle to keep them in ...and her reaction was the same to each one.....



although, with this one, she realized (unlike SANTA!) that there is not just plain lip gloss, but a glossy COLOR ...one in which it makes it very easy to look like Baby Jane, or a clown....



All in all, she was quite happy with her kaboodle full of beauty products, and makes sure that she smells nice and her lips are "ON" before she leaves her room each morning.

What a lovely thing, when a single trip down the dollar aisle at Target is enough to make a child happy.

Christmas Chronicles 2007, part 2

After that smokey experience with the pictures, we prepared for Christmas in many ways.....

I wont bore you with recaps of house decorating and
the Christmas tour of lights .

And I wont go over the trip to the mall to see Santa


But I will say that one of the sweetest moments of the Season, was on Christmas Eve, when we let the kids each open one gift. Little One doesnt quite get the whole concept yet, but she did enjoy this moment.....



Opening up her dolly, she tries her darndest to get her out of the box....



So that she can give her a great big hug!



After opening up one gift each, (gifts from Grandma J, because she likes to open gifts early....) we then went to celebrate with our aunt, uncle and cousins.......during our drive to their house they had many false sightings of Rudolph leading the sleigh, and once there, the kids ran around the house quite excited about the impending visit from the Big Guy.

Up next, Christmas morning!

The 2007 Christmas Chronicles, Part 1

Well, where shall we begin?

I guess it would be most appropriate to start at the VERY beginning, and for our family, our holiday gets started with our Christmas photo, which this year was taken the end of October.

For more background on the glorious, annual tradition, known as the Christmas card photo, start here, and see why it's almost always a giant fiasco

So, this year, as you know (if you just read that saga....) we had "formal" pictures taken, pictures that I thought would be indoors, that I specifically asked to be indoors....otherwise Little One would have crawled around in her white tights and gotten dirty......

Only, as you probably read, they were outdoors. Outdoors during the worst day of our worst fire season ever. We could see flames licking from the north and south, and the schools had closed due to poor air quality, ashes were falling from the sky like snowflakes (ok, I realize Im repeating my vent, but, just in case someone didnt read the saga....)

LONG STORY SHORT, my kids' eyes were burning, and you can tell by the severe squinting going on in the pictures. and...long story short, but just one more thing...I paid for a whole sitting, but only got a few pics, because the baby started crying (probably from the burning eyes....)

So, I had a choice between these two pics....one that looked ok, because, generally speaking, they had decent posture. But, the squinting was obscene.



The other picture, looked a bit more haphazard, with Little One attempting to make a giant break for it...but Beauty and Pooper looked a teensy, tiny bit less squinty....and in the end, Little One's distress really does convey the memory of the horror of the photo session...so, that's what I picked for our card....



Now, I realize some of you may have expected giant smoke flumes to be in the picture...Ill just say, the gal did a great job of making it look like a clear day. The kids were on a small piece of filthy, white construction paper, which also was the drop behind them. She must have mad photo shop skills because she made it look clean, and you cant tell how thick the air was, except if you ask yourself, "why are those kids squinting?"

And, speaking of Christmas card photos.....when you see the pictures of my kids on Christmas morning, you may have a deja vous moment, as their Christmas pajamas are indeed the same ones from Christmas 2005 My how my cuties have grown!

favorites

I realize Christmas is over, and people are ready to move on, already tired of the garland-laced decorations and smell of dead pine, but Im toying with the idea of doing "the Christmas chronicles" on this here blog. You see, My Honey broke down and sold his body, and with the large sums of cash, got me a camera for Christmas (and my birthday and our anniversary)...(and ok, so, not exactly about the selling his body, but he did find an awesome sale, and waited in line to make sure to get one before they sold out! ) so, now I dont have to keep one finger on the battery-compartment-door, while trying to take the pictures, and it has a lot more pixels or whatever, so I can crop a bit...and, well, to be honest, I got some pictures of my kids that *I* think tell some great stories...so, Im thinking of sharing them with you...

In fact, in a total lack of restraint to do things chronologically, let's start with Beauty.

I THOUGHT, that the highlight of her Christmas would be her Disney Princess bike that she found waiting under the tree. It seemed to me, that if I was going to spend 2.5 hours sweating and laboring over a pile of metal and rubber, putting together a contraption that came in a box - a box that said, "easy to assemble" and "5 easy steps", that the amount of toiling would be directly proportional to the amount of love she would have for the sparkly new ride....but I was wrong...sort of.

It's not that she doesnt LOVE her Disney Princess bike, and Ill share the highlights of THAT story later in the "chronicles"....it's just that what truly captures her heart, was another gift.

We havent yet decided on what to call this...sometimes we refer to it as her dancing scarf, or jingling skirt....but in real life, it's a scarf thing, with coins sewn on, that jingle, and belly dancers wear them, and her aunt got it at a Greek festival.....let me just show you......



See how pretty it is! It's a bright blue, with those silver beads and coins that make a shimmery sound, and Beauty loved it from the minute she opened it. She hurried to have us put it on her, and she twisted and wiggled, getting such enjoyment from the sounds it made.

And, while everyone sort of moved right along, she remained fixated on this skirt/scarf. She continued to dance and shake, like she is here....and directly in front of her is the fire place, whose glass doors serve as a mirror for which to dance in front of....



And later on, when everyone was opening more gifts and enjoying Christmas, Beauty was still enjoying her skirt/scarf, and was doing a little show....



And as the morning progressed, and the kids were opening their final gift (a really cool telescope)....Beauty was still wearing her....you know....and, she had even gone so far as to take off her nightgown, and JUST wear the scarf, I think she discovered the coins had better movement when there wasnt a thick patch of flannel all bunched up beneath them.....



AND, tomorrow is her dance class.....most of the little girls like to wear tu-tus and stuff, but recently, Beauty has gotten into wearing her sparkly "jazz pants" from a recital moons ago (the pants used to touch the ground!)....and you may notice that she gets VERY into the shaking and twisting and "hip rocking"....






sort of, super-spastically into it, as it's her favorite part of the class.....and so, she is so excited, to wear her new scarf/skirt/thingy to dance tomorrow,,,,, I can hear the jingling now!!

Christmas Eve, otherwise known as the day we sit around and obsessively track Santa online

It's Christmas Eve people! It's here!

Id love to tell you that my children are patiently awaiting Santa's arrival, or better yet, have Santa on the backburner of their minds, and are focused on the true meaning of the holiday, and the Baby Jesus, but FAT CHANCE.

Pooper just walked up to the mantle and rubbed his hand along the empty stockings, AGAIN..

"what are you doing?" I asked

"checking to see if Santa came" he answered....

Um, hello, it's midday, and you know that Santa didnt show up since you checked the stockings 20 minutes ago.

We have My Honey's work laptop up, so that we can have the Norad Santa Tracker Website at our finger tips, so we can obsessively watch Santa flying through China, Russia, and down into Africa, calculating who is opening their presents, and how long it will be until we can do the same.

The Norad site has little videos of Santa as he flies through the air, and I think the kids have tried to spy THEIR gifts in the back of his sleigh.....the Ben Ten Deluxe Omnitrix watch, or Barbie Laptop, or that Candy Claw machine (you can dream Pooper, you can dream)....

Last night, Beauty and I ventured out to Target to get a few last minute items. She wanted to pick out items for her brother, sister and dad...so off we went.

She wanted to get her brother the Emily Osment CD ("I dont think about it" is Pooper's favorite song right now), but according to the employee in the red shirt, that song is not yet out on CD. So, she got him a hoodie shirt instead.

She wanted to get her sister some "Little People", those fisher price figures that replaced weebles a quarter century ago. But, the only Little People that were left was the cement truck.....which we have. Come to think of it, thanks to Pooper's life long obsession with Little People, we have all of them....so, just as well that we buy her something else. We found pretent baby bottles, and a baby stroller...which I think Beauty wanted for herself, so she got them for her sister.

We got her dad a gift certificate to his favorite fast-food, sushi restaurant...actually, the gift is for the two of them to go eat together, as a special father-daughter date. Which, is really great, as they are the only two that can stand to eat sushi, or smell it, or look at it, so the outting will be a win-win-win-win-win for everyone.

Just a reminder to anyone that is looking for a place to hide gifts...dont hide them in the trunk of your car. And if your wife specifically asks you to put them up in the closet, you would be wise to take heed. Otherwise, your wife might go to put shopping items in the trunk, and when she opens it up, a HELLO KITTY boombox is staring at your 4 year old daughter, and she screams with glee, "hello kitty! is that for me????" and then your wife will look stunned, and stammer and try to think of something clever to say to convince your daughter that the big, white, round face, wasnt really hello kitty, and the gift wasnt really for your daughter, and then she will just keep her mouth shut, because she realized the cat is out of the bag, literally.

But anyways.....

Last night, after the kids were asleep, the only person that knows how to wrap gifts suddenly started to have a panic attack, because she realized that she has only 31 hours in which to wrap the gifts, and she would prefer to be sleeping for some of them.

That same person, is also the "mechanically inclined" member of the family, who knows darn well, that on Christmas Eve, she will be faced with the monumental task of putting 2 special items together....items with handle bars and training wheels.....and then that person started to have breathing difficulty, just thinking about it.

So, last night, I hunkered down and wrapped all the gifts (except for those from our family in Georgia, who, thank God, sends them wrapped - which is especially appreciated, because they spoil us with sooo many gifts, that it would take another 31 hours just to wrap those goodies.)

I sorted out the stocking stuffers, and made sure they would fit in the stockings....and then wrapped each item. I designated a plastic Target bag for each child, to hold their treats...so, all I need to do tonight is transfer each kids' things into their stocking.

I wrapped all the gifts from Grandma J.......who, by the way, I called last night, to see if her items can be from "santa", since Beauty saw her "santa" gift in the trunk, but that made Grandma J sad, and she even said it ruined her Christmas....so, dont worry Grandma J, we figured out something else that will not ruin the Santa mystery.

I wrapped all the gifts from parents to kids, and kids to siblings.....and gifts to kids from Santa...it's all done, except for those two, two-wheeled items, which I pray are of the "easy to assemble" variety.

And, newsflash, My Honey just informed me, while trying to control his roaring laughter, "Your gonna love what Beauty got you!", which naturally made me curious, which made him laugh even more, and roll his eyes. I convinced him, to PLEASE tell me, explaining that if I know ahead of time what it is, I can make sure to have a look of pure pleasure on my face, and maybe even drop hints about how I sure hope Santa brought me the specific item. Well, My Honey caved, probably not because I won him over with my persuasive speech, but because he wants to see my TRUE response.....and then he told me, that she had picked out, and selected, and bought for me, a Bedazzler. As in, that handy machine that implants jewels onto your clothes. As in, that item that was given a second retail life, when the gal from the Apprentice displayed the item with great enthusiasm during one of her on-show tasks. That same Bedazzler, that while maybe it had a different name 35 years ago, is the invention that so enamored Grandma J, that I came home from school one day in 3rd grade, to find that she had ruined, er, I mean, decorated all my clothes with studs!! (she was so proud of herself, and I think I cried) It's really the perfect gift from Beauty. My Beauty that each day meticulously selects an outfit with style and matching colors, and then puts on all of her bracelets and rings and necklaces and such, and then adds a scarf or headband or stylish belt, and finishes her self off with a spritz of body spray and a smudge of lip gloss....I can think of no item, more representative of my sweet girly-girl, then the Bedazzler!

It's time for me to go, as the kids are pestering to see if Santa has made it to Colombia yet, to leave something for their brother and sisters (thankfully nobody has asked how come they dont have toys, as I so often tell them, if they get visits from Santa), so, Im off to the Norad site...

May you have a merry, magical and blessed Christmas.

Christmas Lights Tour, part 3

For many nights, throughout December, we piled up in the van, sometimes with hot cocoa, and visited the Christmas lights.....

We saw, inflatables, lit up figures, houses that had lights pulsing to music, and all sorts of festive decorations.

Some people had a LOT of stuff, one house in particular looked to have it all.....



They had a who's who of inflatable characters, as well as a small zoo of lit animal figures, AND, that very special sign that instucts Santa to STOP HERE!

You could tell they had put some thought into where things would go, Snoopy up on the roof, the sign by the door, etc. It was houses like this, that caused my mind to wander off, imagining that special day, when mom, dad and the kids happily worked together, humming like elves, or whistling like dwarfs, turning their front yard into a holiday extravaganza.

but every once in a while, there would be a house like this one.....



Now, there is nothing wrong here, but I get more of a vision of dad mumbling under his breath, while he quickly jams the candy canes into the ground, and then hurriedly puts the snowflakes in too....and before he can get away, mom is on the porch, directing him where to hang each flake in the tree. It just seems hurried, and lacking that spirit of the holidays that says, "lets spend all day carefully placing our lit stuff in the yard."

Im going to put a disclaimer in here too, and say that Doug and I prefer the more traditional lights, and it's always a plus if the Baby Jesus is included, but the kids are more into the candy-cane-lane meets cartoon characters kinda look...so, dont go thinking that this is what *I* think looks good, as my tastes are oh so much more refined (cough)......

This next house, really set the kids ablaze with ooohs and aaahs....



Doug and I appreciated that there was some level of coordination with the colors and lights, and the kids appreciated all the new-fangled stuff to help lure Santa to the house, like the string of colored lights that went from across the sky, landing on the roof, where Santa was directed to land.

and the absolute icing on the cake, cherry on the sundae, was the DIGITAL COUNTDOWN CLOCK.



Oh yeah, the entire neighborhood was well informed on just how much longer they had to wait for the big guy in his red suit and bag of goodies. This house, was one of the kids top picks.


speaking of the big guy, I have posted pictures of the kids meeting with Santa, over on Pooper's Page , and you can get a glimpse of that Candy Claw game deal going down.

The frenetic anticipation continues....

Now it's time for a commercial break

Two posts in a row! I told you we are building up to Christmas.

Now it's time for a commercial....

What does every child dream about? How about eating candy all day long, without any parental intrusion? What does every parent wish they had as a child, but now that they are in the pareting role, says, "heck no!".....

It's the Candy Claw Arcade Game! (can you believe it? Why didnt I invite this?????)



Not to be confused with , "stuffed-animal-claw-arcade-game-that-children-get-stuck-in-when-their-parents-arent-watching"...this smaller version dispenses candy.

Im hoping, that since you dont have to pay, that they have taken the "scam" element out of this game. The scam element being the fact that when you play claw games at arcades, the claw is so weak and lame, that it doesnt have the strength to actually lift and dispense the item you are grabbing, thus, causing your children to go into major meltdowns right there at the foot of the game, screaming and wailing, demanding another quarter, because they "almost had it"

This Candy Claw machine, is tops on Poopers list. And, thank you to Santa at the Mall, for telling him you would get it for him. Because I hope your fluffed rear doesnt get stuck down our chimney when you come over here on Christmas Eve to deliver on your promise.

I did let Pooper know, that Santa has to ask the MOM AND DAD, and since we have a "NO CANDY TO BE EATEN WHENVER YOU WANT FROM AN ARCADE GAME IN YOUR ROOM" rule, he might not be able to bring it. AND, at this late notice, it might be hard for his elves to find all the parts, as it is a complicated item to make. To which he responded, with a look of "you dont get it" on his face,

"mom, the elves can make stuff out of SNOW if they want, they dont need, PARTS, they have the magical technology!"

OK.
so.

Stay tuned, as our holiday posting continues.....

Christmas lights tour part 2

WHEW! Got the gifts done for teachers (homemade marshmallows and hot cocoa) and the cards are all out (stay tuned, as I will *reveal* the photo that came from the hideous Christmas Card Photo Session ) , and ALMOST have the gifts to out-of-state family sent (sorry grandfolk, we are late again.)

Now, while My Honey and the kids are gathering those last things, let me relax, and enjoy with you some more of the Christmas Lights tour.....

You may remember that we visited the houses that synced their lights to music, saw a number of wintery inflattables, and kept our eyes out for the coveted, "Santa! Stop here!" signs...and that was only the beginning....

We also spied some special friends who were hiding in windows, attic windows, garage windows, sending us festive Christmas messages.....

It may be hard to make him out, but Santa is up there, making sure all the kids are being good....

And we also saw some Disney friends wishing us a merry day...


And then....

Well, let me just say, Im not a fan of those animals made of lights, you know the ones, like the famous "deer family" that pop up in yards this time of year. They have no expression, and often you cant even tell what they are....so, with that bias clearly on the table, here are some more of our sights....

This bear was right out by the street to welcome holiday goers, and thankfully was part of a larger display



BUT, THIS GUY, was all alone, I mean, that's it for their holiday spirit, one barely recognizable creature, does this say, "Merry Christmas"??



And while we are on the subject of things being questionably Christmas, we came upon this little deal. It's up year round, because it's "art" , it's NOT part of Christmas decorations, it's just part of the landscape of this home...



yes,that's right, when you drive down the street, you notice that many people have a planter, and this family has lit art above their planter....365 days a year. Hard to see I know, so here is a close up....



interesting, huh? I mean, they are pretty little tiles, but I would never think to mount them to a wall out front of my house with lights behind them, would you?

anyways....we continued on......and saw many more AMAZING Things.....I promise to post them tomorrow morning, promise, as I have a daily crescendo of posts leading up to Christmas....

Go enjoy the hustle and bustle of the season!

kim

Christmas Lights Tour Part 1

That's right people, you read the title correctly, Ive got some Christmas lights to show you, AND, as the "part 1" implies, there will be a few installments to this exciting post.

I have just spent the past large chunk of time uploading, cropping, editing, admiring, staring, and going cross eyed at, all of the pictures....so, the next posts will be easy to turn out, since the photo work is all done! Whew!

Our community has different contests to help encourage people to go all out on their lights. Some are very traditional, some are manic, some pleasant, some Griswold-ish, or as My Honey calls them, "New Jersey". The past few nights, our family buckled into the "crap mobile", hot chocolates in hand, and participated in the "individual house judging". That means, that mom had to map out the 30 entrees, which are located willy, nilly throughout the town. So, in real life terms, that meant driving with one hand holding my cocoa, the other holding the map, the judging forms on my knees, the pen in my mouth, and my chin on the steering wheel. We cruised around, oohing and aahhing, and eventually trying to come up with a "concensus style family vote".

The kids scoring was directly proportional to how much stuff was on the lawn, or how many shades of colors were represented in the lights, or how many kilowatts were expended in the display. My Honey and I prefer the more refined homes....of course. One thing we all agreed on, was that we LOVE seeing the baby Jesus displayed.

I have some things to show you from our tour, some highlights of sorts...so, grab your hot cocoa and enjoy.....

Our first stop, was the house that has lights that flash to music. When we arrived, there were several cars parked nearby, watching the show. My Honey and I made it a point to only stay briefly enough to let the kids select a score, and we purposely didnt stare. Some of you may remember the fiasco that occured on Dec. 14th of last year after staring at this same house, which sent My Honey to the hospital for a couple of days. We definitely were not in the mood for THAT, so we only saw a small bit of this fine coordination of lights, colors and sounds....the little sign in front tells you the radio station to tune in to, and with each pulse of the music, different lights and figures flash...



As we continued on our journey, we were met by many friends, including....



the penguins

and this bear



and frosty....



and you will notice that down in the corner, is a VERY SPECIAL SIGN



this is the highly coveted "santa stop here" sign, that has been a small obsession for the past 2 Christmases. My kids want, in fact, feel they NEED to have that sign. Last year, we looked high and lo, which means, mom dragged herself to every discount, warehouse, craft, holiday, and retail store, in search of that sign, and never found it. So, being the crafty mom who will go to all ends to please her children, she decided to make one. That's right, she bought the wood, and worthless wood glue, and paint (remnants of which are still visible on the bricks, thanks to Beauty who thought she would be an artist), and for a couple of weeks, we had a homemade "santa stop here" sign in the yard. That is, until the storms came and the sign fell apart, leaving the shambles of a sign in the garden. So, we are always on the lookout for this sign, it is dear to our hearts.....

and soon, you will see the other fun Christmas lights that made us squeal with delight on the tour....

Get me off this ride!

If anyone was planning on calling 911, fearing I had become tangled in Christmas lights....thanks, but Im ok. Ive been ensnarled alright, but not in a strand of lights, rather in medical mumbo-jumbo.

Little One has been sick for a while....she feels just fine, but her lab work has been crazy, her liver enlarged, and her very foul, diarrhea has been pale yellow, for 3 months.

We left the hospital 2 weeks ago, and had some tests pending when we were discharged. The results came in the day after we left, but since Im only her mom, I wasnt allowed to know the results. Ive played this game long enough to have a few tricks up my sleeve, so I told the specialist's nurse to fax the results to our primary doctor (other doctors are allowed to have the results, because they arent stupid like moms), then I called the pediatrician (who is much easier to get ahold of than a "specialist") and she gave me the results; "Her 5'NT is high, this confirms that there is damage to the liver, and she will need a biopsy."

The news wasnt a surprise, it was discussed in the hospital, that the next step would be a biopsy, to get more definitive info.

So, for the past 2 weeks, patiently waiting for today's visit with the gastorenterologist, Ive had this info.

This being the information age and all, Ive spent a pretty few minutes on the internet, googling her symptoms and lab results, hoping to get some sense of what is going on. Ive read the word, "biliary" 3654 times, and learned everything I was supposed to learn in 8th grade science about the liver. Ive also left 5 voicemails and 1 email for the "special" gastroenterologist. and never heard back.

I have this theory, this idea, that if someone knows her lab results, they should just call me. If there is a next step, a test, or something, than just tell me. Ive grown rather tired of the going-to-the-doctor carousel of life, for those that havent been on that ride, it goes something like this....

Call the doctor and try to make an appt.

If their computers arent down, you can find a time that you can come in

Be prepared to throw all other time committments out the window, because they will typically have only one available slot, which will be at the same time as your coveted hair appt, your other child's doctor appt, or some important sports event. But you'll take it, or wait another 2 months

On the day of the appt. You will spend the day preparing, making sure someone else picks one kid up from school, or taking them out of class early, and making other such arrangements as to minimize the impact on your families social calendar.

Your husband will take off from work

You will pack the diaper bag, with extra clothes, extra wipes and diapers, might as well put in a bunch of food for the kids, and you, because you never know how long you will be stuck at the doctors.

You will get all kids in the car, and the diaper bag, and some cash for the parking attendant, and your insurance card, and check book, and dont forget some toys to keep all kids occupied, or they will break out in a squabble at the doctors office.

Once through the traffic jams, and into the parking lot, you will circle around like a vulture for 20 minutes to get a spot.

Unpack everyone and everything, and trek over to the doctors office

Wait for 15 minutes to 3 hours, depending.

Pay the co-pay, because money grows on trees.

meet with the doctor, so THEY CAN TELL YOU WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW, AND THEN TELL YOU TO 'LETS WAIT ANOTHER 2 WEEKS AND DO THE TEST AGAIN AND SEE IF THINGS CHANGE'

HELLO, EARTH TO DOCTORS, CANT YOU TELL ME THAT ON THE PHONE?

So, today's doctor told me just what we already knew. And then said, "this has been going on for 2 weeks, so Im not ready to do a biopsy yet, let's retest her in a week, and then come back in 3-4 weeks."

Those words feel as if someone has a hair dryer on "high heat" up your rear.

I gently reminded the special expert, that we actually had been on this ride for about 3.5 months, complete with lots of tests, doctors visits, specialist visits, and while I was not enthusiastic to do a liver biopsy (as he seemed to think), I also wasnt in the mood to stay on the carousel of ignorance. but Im just a mom.

So, when I got home, I left a message for the pediatrician to send the special gastro doctor all of the labs, etc. from the past few months, so that he can make decisions with all the info on his plate.

It seems to me, that this is being strung out like a strand of Christmas lights. Not really how I wanted to spend the holidays.