The Chocolate Lady

Saturday, November 17, 2007

How do I stop this train??

Pooper is 7. Not 17.

Two years ago, when he was in Jr. Kindergarten, his dad was concerned. While the other boys liked to play Power Rangers and Trucks, Pooper was hanging out with the girls, huddled around the doll house, playing "baby". He was just starting to put on some weight after being anorexic for a couple of years. His weight was in the mid 20's. So, while he was 5 years old, he was wearing 24 month clothing.

God always brings blessings amidst adversity, and Pooper learned quickly that the bonus from being so light-weight, was that people could easily carry him. People, people like the 5 year old girls in his class.

His teacher said that everyday he was eager to play "baby" and would earnestly shout, "Who wants to be the mom??!!" He spared no charms when trying to get the girls to play mommy, and the result, was that the "mommy" would carry around the baby, sit and cuddle the baby, the baby all curled up, nestling into the mommy.

My Honey wondered if this didnt mean that Pooper had a "feminine" side, a very dominant feminine side, and that he was devoid of any masculinity. The teacher assured him that all would be well. The fact that Pooper was always on the hunt for a "wife" to marry him, was also an indication that he had a masculine side.

Fast forward to this morning, when Pooper came to give me, what I thought would be a standard good morning kiss. As in a quick peck and a cheery "good morning." As soon as his lips touched mine, it was like they were magnetically locked. The kiss lingered on and on, and I could have sworn he was leaning his head from one side, and then to the other. When we finally "smacked" and separated, I said, "Wow, that was really a special kiss, it seems like you have been practicing that."

Very proudly, he said, "I can do even better!"

Well, he is 7, and it wont be long before the thought of kissing me causes him to blush, so I tried to act non-chalant and I said, "ok"

He was eager to plant another one on me.....slowly moving his head from side to side, while our puckered lips held tightly together. I was just praying that he didnt part his lips and try to slip me any tongue.....and then he started making slight "mmmm" noises, and it was all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing, as I kept my lips tightly pursed. I feared if I laughed I would cause some sort of life changing trauma, that might make him kiss-phobic (now that I think about it, not a bad idea!)

When the kiss ended, I said again, "WOW! It really seems like you have been practicing that." He denied working on his smooch....

"Where did you learn how to kiss like that?" I asked.... And he shrugged unknowingly.

This has me real concerned.

And just this week, I was snooping, er, I mean accidentally came across his High School Musical journal (where they ask questions and you fill in the blanks...) One question asked, "Who is your favorite teacher?" I was a bit surprised by the answer, since Pooper has never had this gal for a teacher, although, she does teach at his school. Then the next line asked, "She is my favorite teacher because......" and in his elementary penmanship, he had written, "She's hot."

It seems this train is going full speed ahead, and the kids only 7. Not even 7 1/2. Im not ready for all of this. It was cute when he talked of finding a wife and getting married...maybe because it was something he couldnt legally follow through with for another decade or so...but all this kissing and finding teachers "hot"....It's making mer nervous!

When is he gonna get to the stage that girls are gross and have cooties? Can anyone tell me, please, that it's just around the corner? Please?


Karen Sharman said...

If he's anything like my daughter, Lisa, he may never think girls are gross. Lisa never thought boys had cooties. In fact, in kindergarten, she asked a boy if she could kiss him in class...he said "Yes". So she planted one on him. So Kim, get used to it...he may never go through the "girls are gross" phase.....

The Running Girl said...

I feel for you. My son is 9. He guest plays on a soccer team sometimes that has 3 girls on the team. One of the girls is really cute and we tell my son that it would be ok if he liked her. He doesn't like us saying that, acts like he has no interest in girls (whether that's true or not) and has no interest in kissing one. Sounds like you've got your hands full.

Grandma J said...

Every year when I visit Andrew's school for Grandparents Day it's obvious that he is a chick magnet. Honestly, they scramble to fight for his attention. The first year I thought it was ME because well, you know, it was pre-kindergarten and I was the only adult to get down in the dirt but that theory doesn't hold water anymore.
Maybe all the physical attention he got from all the pretty nurses and volunteers at the hospital spoiled him.
One suggestion, don't encourage the mmmmmmmm thing.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Enjoy it while you can - my oldest son, 18 yrs, enlisted in the Air Force and has been gone for 100+ days (but whose counting) I miss him. :-(

Nice blog. I'll be back.

Be Inspired Always said...

Great blog.

I'm new to yours, please feel welcomed to visit mine.


it sounds like you have your hands full.

Sandra said...

He may NOT get to that point, but 2nd grade seems to have changed all the kids a lot and they aren't so gaa-gaa over eachother this year... My daughter was one of the only ones last year (at 7 1/2) in first grade to have a little boyfriend, much to my surprise and dismay, and when while it was cute, it freaked me out.. but this year they won't even look at eachother! Seems this is a common thing. I hope, for you sake (and sanity) sweet Andrew gets grossed out soon too!