The Chocolate Lady

Friday, May 9, 2008

It's that time again!

There are some things in life, that happen with such regularity, that we sort of expect them.

Things like Christmas, the increase in the price of postage stamps (happening Monday!) and bossy painting her patio floors. And, oh yeah, that other thing, the Duggar's are having another baby. I'm. not. kidding.

That's right, Jim Bob and Michelle (and their 17 "J" named children) are expecting a new little bundle in January!

You know what I love about the Duggar's? There are many, many things, but first, I like how they just tell us when they are pregnant. Apparently, she is 6 weeks pregnant, so, it's not like they have been holding out on this exciting info. Not like Brangelina or Nicole Richie or any of the other celebs that walk around, 7 months preggers, full-on basketball lump covered by a designer, flowing gown, denying that their womb is occupied. Nope. none of that for the Duggar's, just plain ole honesty, and I think the minute they knew, there was only a 30 second lag time before it was up on the internet.

Although, let's be honest, at almost any given time, you could say, "hey, the Duggar's are pregnant!" and you would be right, but still, I like their openness.

I realize, that not everyone is in favor of the plus-sized family. In fact, one comment I read about a year ago(different Duggar pregnancy), "It's a vagina, not a clown car." still makes me snicker. I know it isnt nice, but it is kind of funny.

Personally, Im all for people having a bunch of kids. I think there are a lot of benefits....

Let me just make a disclaimer, and say, these are my opinions (duh!) and are "generally speaking" based on my experiences and observations....

First, I think kids from large families are (generally speaking) nicer kids. They arent over-indulged, it would practically be impossible. Much less likely for Susie to have her tantrums over not getting her way, because nobody will pay attention if she does. The other kids wont support her antics, and chances are, mom and dad are too busy to pay attention as well.

Second, they are better at doing chores. It's nearly impossible to live in a house with that many people, and not be used for slave labor, at some level. and, that's a good thing. I think kids need to learn that we all need to pitch in, to make a family work, to earn a living, to get by in life, you need to pull your weight.

Third, they have great organizational skills. If you have more than a dozen kids, your gonna have to do most things via assembly line. Packing lunches, changing diapers, folding laundry,'s just the way it needs to be done.

When I worked in our county orphanage (which we called a "receiving home") we did it that way. In the nursery, with 30+ babies, two people bathed, and passed the child along to the person that got them dressed, and then they were passed along to the one gal that put them in high chairs and supervised breakfast, followed by the *lucky lady who sat with them in the play area at the end of the line.

It might sound cold and heartless, but it wasnt. There was lots of love and kisses and sweet things said along the way.

This type of structure really adds organization and efficiency, and God bless the kids that learn how to function that way at an early age.

Another great thing, is that the kids are never lonely. There is always a play-mate, always a friend, and mom and dad are less inclined to feel as if they need to entertain the children with a new activity at every step of the day. Let's not forget the people skills that these kids will room for wallflowers in a family like the Duggar' learn to speak up and be a part of the group, real quick.

Im not saying there are no down sides, everyone likes to be spoiled, or be "The Princess"...and there is probably less of that going on in family's like the Duggars....but, let's be honest, there are some good things that happen in large families.

For me, I just couldnt have that many kids, physically.

My morning sickness is so extreme, the entire 10 months (it's 10, not 9) that with Pooper, I didnt gain weight until the 7th month, with Beauty, not until the 6th (oh, I looked very pregnant, but I was throwing up so much, that the rest of me was shrinking.)

By the 3rd month, my sciatica (old back injury that flares up) keeps me from walking or standing much, and by month 6, I need to use the "handi-cart" (motored-scooter-chair-thingys-for-seniors) just to get my grocery shopping done.

By month 9, Im almost always in tears, begging my doctor to take the baby early, and thinking of safe ways to break my water. honest.

So, Im not the best candidate to spend most of my adult years pregnant. Admittedly.

What about you? How many kids is best for your family? What do you think of the Duggars and other large families?


Leeann said...

I find the whole large family thing to be very interesting, just as I also have a fascination with the Amish, the Mormons and families who adopt numerous foster children. There are things about it that I like and admire, when it is done right, but I also recognize all the parts of my personality that would make it very challenging, to say the least, for someone like me!


v said...

Very Very interesting...i had know idea who you were talkin about at first but duhhhhhh...Josha, Jamie, Jodiah, Jessica..........and the list goes on. Personally I dont think 17 or 18 kids is for me....3 or 4 will do. Personal attention is almost impossible with a family of 17. Do you watch Jon and Kate plus 8? The Gosslings are adorable. check it out.

Grandma J said...

This family is amazing. There home is huge and very well kept. The children all have music lessons and sports. They seem very well round.
God bless them and any one who can do it. As long as society doesn't have to pick up the tab. Obviously this family knows how to do that very well. Debt free? teach me how!

Jason said...

"It's a vagina, not a clown car."

All I could understand after that sentence was "oioijsdkvnwoith4[8ihgkfj094uv9uvtoieurvtn[9ct[0qct3juierjtiojcoijecto[iqj3t09uqt09dfiolfm;ldfmgkljfmgioajgiojrjatgkhlgkwiw8uko988mn."

I'm laughing still. And I don't even get it!

Seriously though, I'm the oldest of six and while I love all my siblings lots and lots, and they've all turned out to be remarkable individuals, my parents so were not equipped to handle that many kids.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Over from Jason's sentence soup.

Having four children, I really agree with what you have to say about the postive attributes of large families. That said, I consider four or five kids a large family, eight a very large family, and the Duggars, a ?????

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Yes, I am very fascinated by the Duggars and the Jon and Kate Plus Eight shows. It's almost like a morbid curiosity. I have to watch. With my mouth agape. I don't know how they do it. It makes me feel so inadequate somehow (I have 2 children).

tj said...

...Hi! Thanks for visiting my place earlier! I got a laugh out of your comment on Bossy's site about the porch floor - too funny! :o)

...I adore the Duggars and I tip my hat (I don't wear one but if I did - I'd tip it) to them! It's amazing how that household runs like a well oiled machine. But then they always say, "things are never what they seem", so it makes one wonder when they have 'bad days', what that must be like...

...I always wanted to have 7 children. I grew up loving the Waltons and wanted a family just like that and in a house just like that. But alas, I have no children...funny how dreams work, or don't. ;o)

..."Happy Mother's Day" to you! By the way, your kids are adorable! :o)


Bob said...

I am writing to ask that you consider signing a petition that I started this week. The petition came out of watching the 20/20 show with Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture. As I sat there, grieving the loss of my 14 year old son AJ, I tried to think of the last time I had ever heard the words childhood cancer mentioned ANYWHERE, much less a major TV newsmagazine. Of course, I had heard them in our life's too many times over the past year. You see AJ was admitted to TX Childrens on Fathers Day 2007 and diagnosed with Burkitts, a very aggressive but highly treatable cancer. You can imagine the rest of the past year.

AJ was a remarkable young man, the light of our life's, totally healthy and athletic, and just a joy to be around. He fought a gallant, honorable, oh so difficult battle. I miss him more than any words will ever be able to describe. But I also knew AJ. I was by his side every night and day thru this journey. We spoke of things that I had never spoken to another human about, about life, self, god, death, the unknown, fear. The basic elements of communication. And I know AJ wanted me to do something.

So – here's the deal, after watching that show, and thinking to myself, I've NEVER seen a show on Childhood Cancer. His book is #1 still on Amazon a month later. How can we make this work? Well, not sure if this is the best/right/wrong idea, but I gotta lead you somewhere after all this. Please visit.....

that is the link that I hope you would consider for your site. I just got it up and started publicizing a couple days ago. Mostly working thru CarePages & Caring Bridge sites with other parents. Any ideas you may have for further distribution would be appreciated too.

There is more on AJ is at, page name is AJsspace. Thanks for looking, and either way, just let me know.

AJs Dad

Wake Forest, NC

Cortney said...

There is no way on earth that I'd want to have that many kids and I feel kinda sad for the lack of personal attention all those kids get, but I guess there are pros and cons. I just hated when they all went on a road trip and all had to wear matching polos everyday so they could be found easily!

The clown car thing was funny - when I heard about the new baby my first thought was how unpleasurable *things* had to be for both of them after pushing out 16 out of the first 17 kids!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

The Running Girl said...

Well, I guess since we have two kids and are done, two is my perfect number. I use to want three (and would have had three), but when we had a girl and a boy, my husband was done. When I look at things now, I'm kind of glad we stopped. Hotel rooms don't sleep 5 easily; restaurant tables are usually for 4, etc. Plus, I've heard it said that when you have 2, you can play man-to-man; when you have 3 or more, you have to play in a zone defense.

hippo brigade said...

What the crap!? 17 kids? are they outta their minds? That's obsessive. I'm sure there's always something exciting going on at their house, but come on. They have to be a little nutty to have that many kids. Crazy.