The Chocolate Lady

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Come on, where are the cameras, I know they must be here.....

Im pretty sure Im in the midst of a hilarious episode of Candid Camera, or, maybe now that Pooper and I have made a commercial, we are celebrity enough to be "Punked" (that MTV show by Ashton Kucher where he plays practical jokes on the famous.) Im really praying this is all a joke, but Im afraid it's not, in which case, this becomes not so hilarious, but rather HIGHLY IRRITATING.

You see, Im on HOLD with my mortgage company (AGAIN!) Im not gonna bother to link you to my previous posts about the blunders they have made re: our loan, because, those posts are a bit shameful (so I have been told)....but dont worry, we are doing fine, paid up, Im just trying to get them to clear up their errors.

Let me tell you about the Circle of Life that is a phone call with my mortgage company;

I called this morning, and waited 65 minutes to talk to a "representative". After taking a few minutes to ask me "security" questions and verify who I am, I went on to ask for a Supervisor, because I know (from previous, similar calls) that only a supervisor can clear up out situation.

but, as usual, the representative does not want me to talk to a supervisor, "Let me see if I can help you"...they say, and I tell them I know they cant, but they insist and refuse to get a's policy, so anyways.

I tell them my whole, complicated story, which half of them cant follow, so I talk slowly, and reference the dates, and say things like,

"can you see that on your (computer) screen? can you see where I called on that date?"

When we get to the end, and THEY DECIDE that Ill need to talk to a supervisor, usually after about 15 minutes of talking to me, they put me on hold.

And I wait.

And then the phone line get's disconnected.


This happens 99% of the time when I call my mortgage company.

Im holding, listening to the recorded voice say:

"your call is important to us" and other lies like that...........

or, taunting me with phrases like, "Thanks for waiting, someone will be with you shortly"...because, I KNOW BETTER, that "shortly" doesnt mean and hour to anyone else but this lady.

In reality, my call isnt that important, and I wont talk to anyone shortly, because, the line gets disconnected.

I really think, that there is a guy at the call center, and everyone once in a while, he says, "CLEAR" and he disconnects the lines and all of the representatives get a short break and then start over again. Because, talking to people about their mortgage issues is a tough racket these days, and heck, everyone now and again, it just feels good to clear the switchboard and make everyone call back and start over.f

So, now, Im starting over, calling again, holding again, for probably another hour, to talk to a new representative.

And, since I cant find where I put the heroin, Im just gonna suck all of the whipped cream out of this can that I found in the fridge, and postpone doing the laundry or dishes, for one more day.


foolery said...

Holy mother of pearl, that is horrible. I've been lucky enough not to have had any experiences like that. Have you ever heard the segment on This American Life in which the woman battles her phone company for months-into-years over a bill? It has a good ending, but it's excruciating. Maybe if you go to their web site and listen to it you can get some ideas?

Good luck, you poor thing -- AACCKK!

Kristin said...

You have got to be dealing with Countrywide.

Cortney said...

Being that I work in a call center, the CLEAR button sounds like it would be a great stress reliever on busy days!

I met this guy at party and he used to work at the IRS call center and he said one day he put a caller on hold and WENT TO LUNCH! Seriously, I couldn't make that up. HOW HORRIBLE!

Hope you get through soon. I do have one trick but it might not help. If you are having trouble getting to a real person (like when you have to call the DMV or like my mom calling FEMA after the hurricane), choose the Spanish option and then when you get someone say, "Oh sorry I pushed the wrong button, can you help me anyway." And they certainly can and will. Just a tip of the trade! :)

Moob said...

Another call center worker leaving a tip: Don't verify the account, just keep repeating that you want a supe. Also, you can always try going in on attack mode first: "Look, I am not trying to be mean but I work in a call center/customer service as well and I know that your policies hold you to try and help me first, but I already KNOW this will go to a supe and I want to save the time. Please get your supervisor, or better yet, their supervisor. Thank you." And...I wish we did have a "clear" button...especially for the people that know we close at 530 and chose to call at 527 with an hour long issue...

Grandma J said...

You can't fool me, no siree. Just another tricky excuse to down a can of whipped cream.

years ago everything was local enough that you could just get in your car and go "down there".

I found out that my electric company, called TXU doesn't have an office anywhere in Texas. Just PO Boxes. When you call? They customer service people are in the Phillipines. I can't imagine who's reading our meters.