The Laundry Conspiracy

You'll have to excuse my paranoia, but I think the sci-fi monster, known as, "Laundry" is out to destroy me.

Im gonna blame this delusion on the Power Plant situation, where our community is going to have a giant power plant, complete with smoke stack build adjacent to our houses and schools. Because, you see, our homeowners association board and our property management company knew about the plant, and didnt notify residents. In fact, our "Town Manager" who doesnt even live here, but is an employee for the property management company, went on record in the local paper as saying it was a, "good thing."

Residents were not properly notified, and by the time we knew (hello, there is heavy machinery across the street, what are they doing???) it was too late to do much. People gathered money together and are suing the county.

We are in an "unincorparated" part of the county...so, no city council to watch out for our best interests. We do have a State Senator, but he came out with an op-ed piece supporting the plant...oh, and his son-in-law is a lawyer for the power companies involved.

Is that a skunk I smell, or did someone step in dog poop??

The area is zoned for "agriculture" but the county zoning folks overrode that.....

So, if Im feeling a little bit like folks are being covert...you may understand why.

But, back to my laundry monster.

I finally found a couple of hours to devote to it....Big kids at school, Little One is napping (with diaper) and I got ambitious and started sorting....

pile for my cousin who is expecting a baby girl

pile of dirty clothes to wash

pile for the Dorothy Brown School for the Blind (I havent heard of them either, except they leave a pink bag on my door each week, and all I need to do is fill it up and leave it on driveway.)

Im, no joking, about 7 minutes into this task, when I get a phone call.

It's the claims department from an insurance company, because just my luck, THAT @$#^& BIMBO has filed a claim that we damaged her car!

I knew when it happened that this chick was bad news. KNEW. IT.

I dont think I have told you all what happened, so here it goes.....

We take the kids out to the new frozen yogurt joing; serve yourself, put on your own toppings, and it's super inexpensive. This was in the evening, after a day of searching for my car keys, and realizing that we were gonna have to go to the dealership and have new keys made. So, to quell my impending nervous breakdown, we went for frozen yogurt. Caffe Latte with heath bar bits and a pump of caramel, to be exact. YUMMMM.

and it totally calmed my nerves, to the point that I was so relaxed pulling the car out from the parking spot, that I BARELY TOUCHED a car parked behind me.

Not just parked behind me, but parked all tucked away, where no other cars were, as if to keep the precious new INFINITY away from the likes of Odyssey vans and Toyota Camrys. Oh well.

As soon as I felt my car (going a whopping 2.3 mph) touch her car, I hoped out, as did My Honey, and we were happy to see NOTHING on either car. No ding, no scratch, nothing to buff out. NOTHING.

My Honey hopped in, as if we were going to drive away, but I felt like we should look for the owner, just to let them know.

Our community is new, rather small, and the yogurt shop is a gathering place...we had just finished talking to friends, and meeting new neighbors, while we were there. So, I thought, in the spirit of good-neighborliness, I should go find out who's car it was, and let them know.

Nobody in the yogurt shop claimed the car.

Then I noticed a new hair salon, with the lights on. I went inside, and asked the receptionist if anyone owned the black infiniti. Yes....she knew the owner.

Well, I just bumped her car, there is no damage, but I wanted to let her know.

She went back and relayed this message, and suddenly I heard all kinds of expletives. Out storms a young girl, cussing, "You are &*^ kidding me!?" repeated over and over.

I tried to calm her down, letting her know there was no damage, but she was not hearing it.

You really had to be there, but we spend the next 30 minutes staring at her, as she ranted and raved.

Her MOMMY was there too! She also just stared at her little girl, with her glowing, botoxy face.

The girl let me know, that I had really ruined her night and she didnt have time for this, because she was "learning a new cut!" (how dare I.)

She, at one point, started screaming at me, "Do you have any idea how much this car cost? Do you?"

That's when I sort of lost my "good neighbor" patience, and said,

"No, little "hair cutter girl", I have a masters degree and a 5 bedroom house, but I cant even grapple with how valuable your precious car is."

The girl let me know that she was under a lot of stress, as she is learning new hair cuts, and someone else hit her car too recently, and they are going to court for that....and her mom butted in to acknowledge that, "yes, this is a lot of stress."

To which I replied, "Honey, I hope this is all you get in life, someone bumping your parked car and not leaving a mark, because I'd hate to see how you respond to any of life's real stressors."

Her mom didnt like that, and said, "She is only 19, we've all been 19."

Um, yeah, let's blame it on her age.

I really wanted to call the police to take a report, because I just KNEW this girl would turn this into something. My Honey told me we just needed to get the kids home to bed...and the fact that this girl has the same insurance company, it made me feel more secure that she wouldnt be able to pull a scam....

flashing back, I was 16 when I hit a Harley Davidson couple on their bike....and soon found myself surrounded by a bunch of bikers....until the police rode up and saved the day, while the biker chick was kicking my car window....and, thankfully, because we have the same insurance company, the adjustors realized that they were going around purposely getting hit as an insurance scam.

so, I sort of felt like if she tries to do anything fraudulant, our insurance company will protect me. and they just might.

My Honey took pics on his cell phone, and we decided that would be enough proof.

I did get the girl's Drivers License, and as soon as I got home, I went and checked her out on a public court website...and found that her accident months prior, where someone "hit her" , was really her fault, and she is being sued. She and HER MOMMY. Yeah, she owns the car!

Thankfully, I have an awesome insurance guy, who has known me for years, and Im sure this will all get worked out. Especially since there is no damage, and she waited a week and a half to file a claim.

but, now I have to go pick up Beauty from school, and my laundry monster is staring at me, laughing.