The Chocolate Lady

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Hi, We're the Handi Family


Last night, I took the kids to Swirlz, our new favorite hangout/yogurt shop. My Honey had planned to come, but Little One had a Mustard Factory malfunction, so they both went home, leaving Beauty, Pooper and I to enjoy our special treat. And it was special, because normally I let my kids get one scoop of topping (serve yourself, they LOVE that!) Tonight, was a two scoop night, absolutely, two scoops, totally deserved by all.

As we sat eating our yummy yogurt, a little girl about 3 came up and started asking (repeatedly, ad nauseum), "Why do you have THAT?" over and over and over again, as she pointed to Beauty, Pooper and I.

Far be it from me to squash someone's curious, learning, I played along (and it helped that the mom couldnt really hear what I was saying."

I responded with things like, "Because we like to get attention." "Because we think this is fun." and "Because we are the Handi Family." I did give her the real explanation the first few times, but then decided to just have fun with her.

As soon as we walked into Swirlz, eyes were on us. Im not sure if it was the black ankle brace I was wearing, or the eye patch (covered with a glittery butterfly sticker) that Beauty had on, but of course it could have been Pooper's black wrist brace drawing attention to our family.

Let me tell you about how all this came to be.

It was a decent morning. Really. I even spent time cleaning the crap-mobile. Sort of motivated by the knowledge that the engine et al. were in good working order, and I had been given a boost when My Honey and the kids cleaned a lot of the junk now I was using some 409 to clean out cup holders, spiffy up the steering wheel, etc. I had the radio blaring, Little One was playing in the yard, was a good morning.

It was during this little activity that I realized that Little One's car seat was COMPLETELY unsafe. It's the old-fashioned kind of car seat, when the bar thingy comes down over her head, the straps are attached, and they snap into the buckle between her legs. Well, she had broken the bar thingy. It was completely detached from the chair, on both sides. It all undoubtedly happened during one of her many attempts to get out of the seat, wiggling through the straps, and apparently just busting the bar thingy right of it's hinges, on both sides!

I prepared to go to Target to get a new one, before picking Beauty up from school.

Target had one carseat for $43 dollars, which appeared to be just as good, same safety rating, all the important bells and whistles (cup holder, reclining positions, etc.) as the other carseats. Naturally, they were all out of that one.

When I was a first time mom, I might have immediately focused on the high end car seats, assuming that they were safer, better, necessary. But now, I go right to the cheapest, believing that the others are just over-priced, no better than the cheapest...manufacturers are just playing on the emotions of parents who only want the BEST for their kiddos.

But they were out of the cheapest. The next in line was more than double the cost, although still cheaper than the $200 models.

Once purchased, we headed to Beauty's school to pick her up.

Her teacher handed me a little "boo boo" slip, letting me know that she had hurt her eye hours earlier. Reportedly someone poked her in the eye, but she didnt know who or how. As we walked away from the dimly lit class (nap time was starting for the all-day kids.) I noticed that Beauty's eye was really red, extremely watery. That seemed odd to me, since this incident happened more than 2 hours prior.

I went back and asked the teacher if it had been this watery the entire time, and she said it hadnt, and we figured that Beauty must have just rubbed it before I walked in....and the teacher noted that it is pollen season, allergies could be factoring in here too.

So, we drove home, with Beauty complaining about her eye. She took a nap when we got home, which I knew would make things better.

In the meantime, I got to work on throwing away the old car seat (yes, we did drive to and from the store and Beauty's school in the old one, which was completely worthless had we actually had an accident, and with the way the day was heading, Im surprised we didnt.)

The new one was installed, cup holder mounted, straps adjusted, very nice and clean.

I walked down the driveway to put the old one into the had been trash pickup that morning and the big trash can was still curbside.

I walk down, and apparently my brain said, "you know that long rug burn on your left shin? it's odd to have such a long bruised area on one leg, and not on the other. I realize the right leg has a couple of scabs and bruises from the same incident, but here in our body, we like to be more symmetrical, let me see if I can remedy the situation." And at that precise moment, I fell.

Left leg buckled, and the ankle twisted something fierce. Right leg skid along the driveway, leaving painful scrapes, bruises and blood from foot to knee. Yep, that ought to do it, now both legs were equally banged up.

I tried to gather myself up in the driveway, and the pain forced me to just sit down and catch my breath, who cares if neighbors are staring at you.

I eventually got up, and started into the house, as it was now time to pack everything up for swim team and go pick Pooper up from school. Both girls were still napping, so I'd wake them up to go....and then I heard Beauty, SCREAMING, CRYING.

She was crying uncontrollably, her eye hurt. I had expected the nap (and resting, closed eye) would have been good for it, but it was now watering more than ever, red and puffy, and she clearly couldnt open it in the light.

OK.....I figured she had scratched the eye, so the Urgent Care was now on my agenda. I immediately called Andrew's in-laws (he's married AGAIN) and asked if I could drop off he and his swim gear with always, they were wonderful and agreed to take him to swimming while I took Beauty to the doctor.

Beauty is now hysterically screaming, as the pain has been coupled with not wanting to miss swim team, and her fear of doctors and needles. I tried to calm her down, but nothing worked.

Long story short, the girl practically destroyed the exam room. The doctor numbed her eye with drops, then added a yellow dye that identified any scratches (really cool, she turned off the lights, turned on a flourescent bulb, and the scratch lit up in Beauty's eys.) The scratch was huge, covering all of her pupil and most of her iris!

The process, which took all of 10 minutes (only 2 if Beauty had cooperated) was done with amidst blood curdling screams, other Urgent Care staff kept poking their head in the room to see if the doctor needed "help"....the paper on the exam table had been violently kicked and shredded off, and I think the doctor and I might have had some foot impressions on our chest.

The doctor put on an eye patch, despite Beauty's dramatic protests. Beauty immediately began shreiking about, "looking ugly"....which was so sad, I dont know where she gets such emphasis on the exterior. After 10 minutes of high-end drama at the sticker drawer, we finally left.

We drove the 3 miles back home, to go to swim practice and resume our activities. Beauty kicked and screamed the entire time.

My love and nurturing turned to a more stern approach, as it's just not ok to kick and scream, no matter being injured or having to wear a patch.

By the time we got to the pool, and she settled down, I noticed my right leg was really burning from the abrasions, and oh, my left ankle was really in pain, in fact, it was becoming difficult to walk.

Shortly thereafter, My Honey showed up at the pool, and I could barely walk.

After cussing, and wishing I were an alcoholic, I left him with the kids, and I drove down to the Urgent Care....except, I have a different medical plan then the kids, so Im not covered at the Urgent I went right across the street to the ER, now barely able to walk, certain my ankle was broken.

And that's how we ended up in the Yogurt shop, with a brace on my ankle (just a bad sprain, and they kept insisting that I take crutches, but HELLO, what would I do with crutches? I have kids and stuff to carry around, the crutches would just get in the way!) Beauty had her patch, covered with a glittery sticker, and Pooper is still sporting his wrist brace, as his broken arm recovers.

Now today, Ill pick Pooper up from school early, to go to his annual endocrinology appointment (we go to the Cancer Clinic, as the endocrinologist is there every deal with the effects of the chemo on the hormonal system, effecting bones, growth, etc.) The Cancer Clinic is at the hospital, so Ill have to park i one place, and walk a distance to another....just what my ankle is looking forward to doing. Then, we will shoot on back to the Urgent Care, as Beauty's eye needs to be rechecked.

We'll miss swim team and Pooper's Little League game, Im just glad the bars are open late, as I think it's about time for me to take up that new hobby.


Grandma J said...

Poor Beauty! I wonder who poked her. What was Little One doing the whole time Beauty was screaming? She had to be scared too.

I don't know how to use crutches, and supposedly they hurt your armpits. Does your insurance cover the cost of one of those scooter chairs? They look awesome, don't they? I know Medicare covers the cost...when you're old enough.

Did you ever hear back from your mountain resort landlord?

Leeann said...


You poor dear. I know it is so wrong of me to be laughing but days like that should NOT exist!

Reminds me of a song in the musical Avenue Q, the refrain changes from "It sucks to be me" to "It sucks to be you!"

Hugs (gentle ones!) to you and yours,


Some People Call Me Mom said...

I feel for you.

Nobody should have to endure a day like that (especially without an adult beverage at the end of it)! I hope everyone heals quickly...

The Running Girl said...

Hope you have a better day today and a great weekend. You deserve it.

Cortney said...

Don't we all wish we were an alcoholic sometime!