The Chocolate Lady

Friday, August 14, 2009

the fair and the bearded lady

A couple of weeks ago, My Honey and I had the chance to go to the fair. "had the chance" is sort of an interesting way of putting it....

I grew up going to this fair, every year, it would kill me to miss it, that was before....well, before my extroversion began to, the thought of going to the fair, being bumped into by people with no sense of personal space, waiting in lines, listening to screaming....well, it's something I could pass on.

Our church youth group was having a "child care drop off" night, and we jumped at the chance to go out without it costing us $100 (seriously, if you havent used a babysitter lately, suddenly 14 year olds are demanding 3x the minimum wage...I know, I should have majored in babysitting....) but anyways, we couldnt pass up the opportunity to get out on our own, first time in a few dozen months...

I figured we would go out to a favorite restaurant, or see a movie...perhaps check out the new "Dueling pianos" bar...but My Honey wanted to go to the fair, and I knew that going without kids was the ONLY way I would even think of going....

After walking a mile or two, we entered into the legendary world of the fair.

Taking in the neon lights and flashing bells, we were drawn like magnets to the food aisle. We were like kids in a candy store, literally, and we declared that we would have a guilt free night of fair-food tasting.

Chocolate covered bacon, grilled corn on the cob, shaved ice, ...and My Honey's favorite, the deep fried Twinkie....all entertained our sense of taste....once full, we kept walking, knowing that the exercise would help reduce the guilt.

Typical carny coersion was in full force, as the game operators tried to lure you to their booth...we played some, knowing they were rigged, knowing that even if we "won" it would take a dozen "wins" to get the actual large prize that was displayed...we'd have to collect $100 worth of trinkets to trade in for anything worth carrying.....but knowing that we played, and lost.

My Honey almost won the basketball toss, "you were soooo close!" I told him, encouraging him to pay for another's the fair, might as well make the most of it, right?

Eventually, we found ourselves in the exposition hall, where booths filled with "as seen on TV" items were being peddled. Billy Mays (may he rest in peace) and The Sham-Wow guy have a lot of up and coming imitators. Slick salesman held up their wares, trying to entice us with practically miraculous claims.

One booth caught my eye, as they demonstrated the "Smooth Away Hair Removal System".

Back in the day, I had 2-3, long, course, fast growing, but thankfully, BLONDE hairs that grew just under my chin, about an inch to the left. Not a huge deal, easy to feel when they were getting long, easy to pluck.

However, in the past decade, that patch has gotten a few new hairs, and more recently, it's become quite a little garden of annoyance.

Perhaps this "Smooth Away" thing might be just what I needed.

Now, they claim it has "fine crystals" on this little pad, and you simply buff the hairy area. The gal showed me how it worked, and then told me to try it myself. I was apparently a bit too eager, because she noticed that I had scuffed off some of the skin. "dont press so hard next time, and it will not be as irritating."

Honestly, I didnt notice MUCH irritation, I was more enamored with the smooth chin it gave me. So, I bought one, and then proceeded through the fair grounds, feeling oh so fabulous with my smooth chin.

The late night came to an end, and we eventually wound up at home after picking up the kiddos.

The next day, I kept rubbing my chin, as an abrasion was brewing, from where I rubbed off my skin. But, at least it wasnt bearded anymore!

By the end of the day, seriously, I could feel the stubble coming back! THAT was a short lived dream. Now I was gonna have stubble, AND a big scab from my skin being scraped off! And, as if that wasnt bad enough, as soon as my chin began to heal, a new problem erupted, in the form of.....ingrown hairs! That's the thing I hate about hair removal, including eyebrow waxing, is before you know it, I have big pimples from ingrown hairs...which become quite big and ugly, not to mention painful.

Now, the big dilemna, do I even bother buffing off the now well grown return of my hairy, chin-patch? or just let it be?

Is it better to have a beard? ingrown hairs? abrasions?

Maybe next year I can return, and get my own booth as the bearded lady!


Grandma J said...

I bought that sander too. That's all it is...fine sand paper. You can use a fine emory board and get the same results. chocolate covered bacon...yuck!

The Chocolate Lady said...

you would LOVE it....especially if you add some brown sugar to your bacon when you cook it....Im telling ya, try it, it's incredibly delicious!

Life with Kaishon said...

I have seen an ad for that thing and it certainly is compelling... : )

Hair is the bane of my existence. At least hair in the wrong places. : ) I kind of like the stuff that grows out of my head!

Jason, as himself said...

Well, look who posted!

First of all, chocolate covered bacon?

Second, I was wondering what this smoother thing was. It sounds awful! So you have road rash on your face as well as a five o'clock shadow. I'm sorry.

Are you planning on posting again any time soon, or is it going to be another four months? Sorry. I must harass.

Jennifer, Sam's mama in Vancouver said...

Hi Kim! Great to hear from you and to get a good chuckle as usual. I too, have been plagued by pesky chin hairs, and have resorted to the plucking method, which is highly irritating. It's good to know that the sander is probably not a solution for me!

Big hellos to all the family...

Anonymous said...

Well, I guess I'll learn from your experience and stick to plucking . . .

Deep fried twinkies? I don't much like them plain, but I like just about anything that's dipped in boiling grease, so I'd be tempted to try that!

Karen B.