The Chocolate Lady

Monday, December 22, 2008

How I spend my time

It's been way too long since I have ranted on this blog. In the chance that there may be one reader that is still checking back to find out how the kids and I are doing...I thought I would update.

Id love to tell you all about the delicious life I lead as a Dove Chocolatier, so here goes;

Today, I spent the morning at the glass shop, for the 2nd time. Glass, as in, my passenger car window is broken, and since it's unsafe to ride around in the rain with the wind flapping against the non-see-through plastic trash bag that is afixed to my car with duct tape, and I need the glass shop to repair the window.

How might a glamour-puss, such as myself, come to find herself in need of a new passenger window? Let me answer that for you.

Over a week ago, I was at a Live Nativity, held at the park in my neighborhood. My Honey and I organize it each year, which includes renting farm animals. After the Nativity, the animal handler and her son got the donkey, goats and sheep back into the truck, and I went to my van to retrieve my checkbook, so to pay them.

Pay attention to this part: I went to my van, (obviously had my car key, as I did indeed open the van.) I then went to the animal truck, where I placed my checkbook on the passenger seat as I filled out the amount. I then tried to get back into my van, but could not find the key. Of course, the animal truck had already taken off, bound back to San Diego (an hour drive), and I didnt have their cell number.

There was an off chance, that they key was actually inside MY van. An off chance. The night sky did not allow me enough light to see in clearly, but since I didnt have a lot of choices besides putting my track skills into action and chasing down the truck with animals, I called the towing company to get them to open my van (in hopes of finding my key.)

My Honey and my 3 freezing children were waiting patiently. Ok, they werent patient at all. My Honey was upset that I had not been more responsible, and my children were hitting each other and crying and not listening to either parent. And then we waited for the tow truck guy.

He immediately tried to connect with my kids, and told my 8 year old, "My name is the same as one of your Sesame Street friends!"

Pooper: Oscar? Elmo?

Me: Bert? Ernie?

BINGO...his name was Ernie, and he was here to save the day, or else really botch it up.

After 45 minutes of failed attempts to open the van door, and just minutes shy of my children frying my last nerve, he had some success and the car alarm sounded, indicating he had opened the door.

With the alarm blaring, I searched, and searched, and there was no key! Really!

Ernie drove My Honey back to our house, and then My Honey drove back to get us in his car.

Long story short, we eventually got the key (and I do mean LONG STORY).....but for the purposes of this post, and my visit to the glass shop, you dont need to know more about the key.

What you may want to know, is that once the key was found, and I was driving in the van, it came to happen, that I rolled down the passenger side window, only to find that it would not roll back up. Instead it made some grinding noises. My mind went back to a few nights prior, to when The Muppet had thrashed around inside my passenger door with his long metal bar. Great!

So, to paraphrase: window broken, storm was coming, My Honey taped up the van with plastic bags and I looked like a real winner driving around with a Hefty duct taped to my vehicle. AND, throw in the wind, and a bag that flapped itself out of position, and you get the idea.

Now....I went to the glass shop the 1st time, and he jimmy rigged the window back into place, until the part arrived. Good!

However, last night, with a rain storm approaching, the glass slipped back down into the window, making it necessary for me to return today, to get the whole thing fixed. The part they ordered, the window motor, was in, and would just take an hour to fix.

The kids were on their best behavior, as we have an important trip to take tonight, to the Polar Express....another long story, but if they are going to see Santa, we are going to drive, and take a train, and try to see him on his last stop before Christmas. So, they are amped, anticipation is high, and it all makes for a dramatic approach to Chriatmas. But we cant go without the window on the car, so that's what we did this morning, with plans to leave on our trip to see Santa at around 1pm.

And, since it wouldnt be as exciting to just sit and wait at the glass shop, I spent some time on the phone getting the insurance to send the paperwork, so that the repair costs would be covered without making me broke.

While Im on the phone with the insurance adjuster, Little One announces with a hurried tone, "Ive gotta go poop!"

With my cell phone pressed up to my ear, I scan the room for a bathroom, and see NONE. I finally get a worker who points me in the direction across the warehouse, and Beauty, Little One and myself all scoot across to the restroom. Once inside, I realize the light and fan are on the same wall switch, and I cant quite hear the adjuster on the phone when Im in the bathroom.

So, I step outside, and somehow, in the 2 minutes I was out of the bathroom, Little One manages to get poop all over herself and the toilet, not to mention, I need a new Pull Up.

Im still on the phone with the insurance gal, who is trying to get the paperwork together to send to the glass guy. She is asking me questions, and I try to answer, as I balance the cell phone against my shoulder, while wiping poop off my child.

I am ever mindful, that the paper towels being used to wipe the poop, will most likely clog the toilet, which will only add to the hilarity of the situation.

As Im trying to get the poop under control, I really cant even hear the lady on the phone, because of the loud fan, however, if I turn off the fan, and the light, I cant really see the poop well enough to clean. And, oh, did I mention Little One was crying?

Another long story shortened, we cleaned the poop up, we got the insurance issue handled, and drove away in our van with the new window motor.

Now, we will scurry up to the North Pole, making a last ditch effort to see Santa before Christmas.....

Can you see, why I havent had a lot of time to post? or, has the last reader left, and Im writing this to myself? If you write a post on blogspot, and nobody reads it, is it really there?

Merry Christmas!


L said...

Yay an update! A hilarious update.

Anonymous said...

Looks like you have two whole readers. Glad ya'll are still the same ol' crazy family. I love it! I REALLY want to hear about the family Christmas pictures and the drama that surely came with that this year!

Mom on the Run said...

I have yu on my blogroll thingie, so noticed your update. So sorry about your window and key incidents...a very mom thing to do. Too many things going on at once!

Tell us about the Polar Express. My kids love the movie!

Mom on the Run said...

I have yu on my blogroll thingie, so noticed your update. So sorry about your window and key incidents...a very mom thing to do. Too many things going on at once!

Tell us about the Polar Express. My kids love the movie!

Anonymous said...

My kids seem to think my windows are bakstops for their baseball, lacrosse balls, etc. The windshield is their goal! To many trips to fix windows in our house- boys (sigh).

Grandma J said...

Yikes! The drama of it all. Hopefully its all fixed with the record rain falling in So CA.

Kelly, now I know what to buy your boys. A windshield.

jlo said...

Ahhhh, all in a days work, right?